Inevitable conflict, the second stage of all committed relationships, is growth "trying to happen." This session will address core issues most couples face, working with difficult couples, how to transform destructive conflict into creative tension through the dialogue process and how to discern when a couple can or cannot be helped. Participants will be introduced to a therapy process that transforms conflict into connection and facilitates couples being healers for each other.
This workshop will explore the assessment of the functioning of couples in their sexual life, their daily interactions, and their individual and jointly arrived at value systems. The techniques of this assessment, the combination of couples’ and individual partners’ interviews will be followed by an overview of alternative therapeutic strategies.
High conflict and chronically distresses add to each others’ trauma while triggering historical trauma. Reducing, calming or eliminating the emotional triggers is an essential part of changing their negative ingrained patterns. See a live demonstration and/or experience a process to bring about immediate relief of painful memories (and sometimes) not even having to talk about them.
The reason why most couples' characteristic fights never get resolved is because in our most heated moments, we stop fighting with each other. Core negative images (CNIs) start fighting and the two real partners get lost. This workshop teaches participants how to help partners identify, make explicit, accept, and ultimately work with one another's core negative images. As partners are taught to utilize each other's CNIs, rather than fight them, all sorts of creative and deliberating possibilities emerge.
Gridlocked perpetual conflicts often destroy relationships. They repeatedly surface, causing partners endless pain, fear, even trauma. Yet every couple faces them. In this address, Dr. Julie Gottman describes a dyadic therapy method that uncloaks the dreams, history and fears beneath partners’ issues while fostering greater compassion and connection in the couple. An edited film will be shown to demonstrate this intervention.
Couples’ conflicts that hurt and go unprocessed often lead to chasms of emotional distance. This workshop explains and demonstrates with film how a couple can learn to process their own battles and move from resentment to understanding, accountability, and repair. The Gottman “Recovery Kit” will be explained and given to each participant.
In this workshop, we will look at fantasy as an ingenious way our creative mind overcomes all sorts of relational and intra psychic conflicts around desire and intimacy. Therapists can help clients develop a view of fantasy as a narrative that creates a safe space to experience the pleasure that can invigorate their loving relation-ships. They will decipher the meaning of sexual fantasies, approaching them more as dreams or complex symbolic structures than as literal narratives of secret intentions.
The Atone-Attune-Attach model of couples’ therapy for healing from a revealed extra-relationship affair, with secrecy deception is described. Each of the three phases has 4 objectives. The roles of conflict avoidance and self-disclosure avoidance are discussed, as well as the Gottman-Rapoport conflict blueprint. To deal with attachment injuries and regrettable past incidents, the Gottman Recovery Kit is described. The Gottman-Rusbult-Glass cascade forms the basic theory for this therapy. The roles of cherishing and gratitude versus trashing and betrayal are discussed, as well as the theory of attunement and trust, and CL-ALT and betrayal.
Too little acknowledgment will lead to alienation of one of both partners in couples therapy, but too much acknowledgment without a compelling invitation to move on from conflict, blame and the past to new possibilities won’t work either. Learn how to maintain that delicate balance and let the couple teach you when to use which method.