CC19 Workshop 12 - The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy: Advanced Experiential Workshop - Ellyn Bader, PhD

Description:

This advanced workshop is designed to demonstrate core concepts of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. Participants will Increase their skills in the Initiator-Inquirer process and in effective confrontation and incisive resolution of intrapsychic conflicts. Join Ellyn Bader and learn how to make developmental assists, strengthen your confrontation skills and promote couples development.

Educational Objectives:

1. Describe the Initiator-Inquirer process and show how it is used to address developmental deficits.
2. Delineate 6 types of Confrontation.
3. Define developmental assist and show how to use these assists for moving clients forward.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Workshop Overview

• Presented at the Milton H. Erickson Foundation's Couples Conference 2019.
• Focus on three cases: a nanny affair, a long-term gay couple, and early infidelity with rumination.
• Participants engage by writing interventions and analyzing therapy transcripts.

Case 1: Infidelity with a Nanny

• Husband had a four-year affair with the nanny while wife, Karen, underwent breast cancer treatment.
• Couple in therapy for four months with two therapists.
• Karen is anxious and depressed; Neil (husband) feels angry and disconnected.
• Therapist reframes Karen’s rumination as a useful process in therapy.
• Focus: mutual commitment, emotional honesty, and working through betrayal.
• Karen expresses pain; Neil acknowledges lies and wants to be more vulnerable.
• Therapist encourages using ruminations to build trust and healing.
• Session ends with both partners committed to continuing therapy.

Audience Feedback

• Participants praise reframing rumination and confronting conflict avoidance.
• Emphasis on pacing and deeper historical context.

Case 2: Long-Term Gay Couple

• Together 15 years, struggling with intimacy and connection.
• Therapist Nancy uses the initiator-inquirer model.
• Miriam (initiator) expresses loneliness and need for engagement.
• Jerry (inquirer) struggles with empathy, often personalizing issues.
• Nancy helps Jerry stay focused and empathetic.
• Emphasis on understanding detachment and reestablishing emotional connection.

Audience Reflections

• Questions on childhood trauma, empathy, and sustained commitment.
• Praise for balancing accountability with compassion.

The Role of Children in Dysfunction

• Example: a daughter upset over father’s lack of appreciation for mother.
• Therapist notes how children absorb parental emotional dynamics.

Modeling Inquirer Role

• Client frequently derails sessions with unrelated topics.
• Therapist models inquirer role to focus on inner emotional experiences.

Client’s Emotional Struggles

• Client feels unloved, hopeless, and questions staying in relationship.
• Therapist encourages emotional expression and reclaiming personal voice.

Reclaiming Voice & Role Play

• Client practices direct emotional expression through role play.
• Struggles with long-standing trauma and fear of being vulnerable.
• Reflects on past abuse and its impact on family and self-worth.

Closing Reflections

• Therapist validates client’s pain and strength.
• Role play seen as powerful and necessary.
• Participants express gratitude for the morning’s transformative work.