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CC19 Workshop 01 - Introduction to the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy - Ellyn Bader, PhD


Credit Available - See Credits tab below.

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Topic Areas:
Workshops |  Couples Therapy |  Developmental Therapy Model |  Attachment |  Conflict |  Differentiation |  Treatment Planning |  Developmental Psychology |  Relationships
Bundle(s):
CC19 Main Conference Video Bundle | CC19 Individual Selections
Categories:
Couples Conference |  Couples Conference 2019 |  Online Continuing Education
Faculty:
Ellyn Bader, PhD
Course Levels:
Master Degree or Higher in Health-Related Field
Duration:
1:20:29
Format:
Audio and Video
Original Program Date:
Apr 12, 2019
License:
Never Expires.



Description

Description:

Join Ellyn Bader as she provides a solid introduction to The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. This model enables you to make a targeted assessment of what’s wrong and then select stage-specific interventions based on the developmental capacities your clients are lacking. Learn to move your clients from hurt, bitterness and outrage to collaboration, openness and increased accountability. Ellyn will use video demos and transcripts to reveal the power of this model.

Educational Objectives:

  1. Integrate Attachment and Differentiation Theory and Apply these to Couples Development.
  2. Demonstrate an understanding of basic neuroscience to explain couples fight patterns.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

 

Outline:

 

Introduction to the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy

  • Workshop held by the Milton H. Erickson Foundation in Manhattan Beach, CA (April 2, 2019).
  • Speaker discusses using older videos and seeks audience feedback.
  • Highlights the challenge of idealized relationship images in North American culture.
  • Emphasizes the desire to maintain the “in love” feeling and how relationships evolve into conflict-avoidant or hostile patterns.

Parallels Between Childhood and Adult Relationships

  • References Bowlby, Mahler, and Pine’s theories on childhood development.
  • Describes Mahler’s stages: autistic, symbiotic, and differentiation.
  • Introduces libidinal object constancy—maintaining connection through frustration or separation.
  • Emphasizes self-soothing and emotional regulation as key adult skills.

Stepping Stones Brochure & Relationship Evolution

  • Introduces the “Stepping Stones” tool to help clients understand normal relationship stages.
  • Falling in love described as temporary symbiosis; differentiation begins when partners express individuality.
  • Shares an example of a couple fighting over a grocery list to illustrate early differentiation.

Differentiation vs. Individuation

  • Differentiation: managing emotional connection while asserting self in relationships.
  • Individuation: developing self-esteem independently.
  • Rapprochement phase: couples seek closeness while fearing it.
  • Final stage: synergistic/interdependent relationship marked by strong “we” and solid “I”.

Common Challenges in Couples Therapy

  • Two types of stuck couples: hostile-angry and conflict-avoidant.
  • Hostile couples escalate quickly, lack accountability, and project blame.
  • Conflict-avoidant couples appear friendly but remain emotionally distant.
  • Emphasizes setting clear goals and expectations in therapy.

Demonstration: The Paper Exercise

  • Couples must decide who gets a symbolic piece of paper—reveals dynamics like control, negotiation, and boundaries.
  • Used to assess developmental stage and target interventions.
  • Therapist provides feedback on self-definition, conflict handling, and emotional giving/receiving.

Audience Q&A and Final Thoughts

  • Questions on cultural dynamics, dominance in couples, and fear in conflict-avoidant relationships.
  • Therapist stresses understanding each partner’s developmental needs.
  • Encourages therapists to go slow and use feedback to move couples forward.
  • Concludes with value of the paper exercise in uncovering core relational issues.

Credits


A.P.A.

1.5 credits available.

The Milton H. Erickson Foundation, Inc. is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. The Milton H. Erickson Foundation, Inc. maintains responsibility for this program and its content.

 

THE MILTON H. ERICKSON FOUNDATION Policy on Disclosure

The Milton H. Erickson Foundation is proud of the conferences and other
educational opportunities it sponsors, taking care that the conduct of
these activities conforms to the standards and principles of behavioral
and medical sciences, thus ensuring balance, independence, objectivity
and scientific rigor in all individually sponsored or jointly sponsored educational
activities.

All faculty members participating in a sponsored activity, and those who
review and therefore are in control of content, are requested to disclose
any relevant financial relationship prior to the CME activity, including but
not limited to specific commercial interests, financial remuneration received
by faculty member or spouse, and what role or activity was performed
for this remuneration. If a conflict of interest exists as a result of
a financial relationship it will be resolved prior to the activity. A faculty
member will not be allowed to present if the conflict is not or cannot be
resolved.​



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Ellyn Bader, PhD's Profile

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Ellyn Bader, PhD, is a founder and director of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. As a clinical psychologist, workshop leader, author, and speaker, she is dedicated to helping couples create extraordinary relationships. Over the past 30 years she has trained therapists in couples therapy throughout the United States as well as Europe, Asia, South America, and Australia. She served as a Clinical Faculty in Stanford University School of Medicine for 8 years.


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