Attunement can be considered the deepest level of rapport, a foundation of empathy. We will learn how to attune to affect, behavior, cognition, attitude, perception, and relationship patterns —even how to attune to the preconscious associations that drive behavior. A precursor to every intervention, attunement will be described from the perspective of hypnosis, psychotherapy, and social psychology. Clinical applications will be demonstrated and discussed. Includes small-group practice exercises.
Mindful awareness has been scientifically proven to promote social, emotional and physical well-being, and is an effective part of treatment to prevent relapse of drug addiction and chronic depression. Mindfulness also enhances empathy, and in that way may promote healthy interpersonal relationships. This ancient practice of being fully aware in the present moment, without grasping onto judgments, has been found in cultures around the world. At the heart of this proposal is that the state of mindful awareness harnesses specific social and emotional circuits in the brain. The development of these “resonance circuits” creates an integrated brain state that creates the benefits of improved immune and cardiac function, enhanced empathy and self-understanding, and a deeper connection to oneself and others.
People change due to the experiences they live, more than the information they receive. A brief overview of the experiential approach will be followed by a demonstration and discussion of the experiential methods used for assessment and treatment, which include couples and therapist sculpting, attunement, and the use of signals.
Based on research, Gottman will discuss his new theory of how to conceptualize “trust” and “betrayal” using interdependence game theory. Trust and betrayal metrics here are not personality traits, but characteristics of daily interaction processes. He will present practical flowcharts for how couples build trust and loyalty, versus how couples build distrust and betrayal. The social skill of “emotional attunement” will be described precisely. A new therapy for preventing distrust and betrayal, and a therapy for healing from betrayal will be presented. Concepts will be illustrated with video-tape and transcripts from actual cases.
The Atone-Attune-Attach model of couples’ therapy for healing from a revealed extra-relationship affair, with secrecy deception is described. Each of the three phases has 4 objectives. The roles of conflict avoidance and self-disclosure avoidance are discussed, as well as the Gottman-Rapoport conflict blueprint. To deal with attachment injuries and regrettable past incidents, the Gottman Recovery Kit is described. The Gottman-Rusbult-Glass cascade forms the basic theory for this therapy. The roles of cherishing and gratitude versus trashing and betrayal are discussed, as well as the theory of attunement and trust, and CL-ALT and betrayal.
Sex addiction destroys trust in relationships, traumatizing the partner, the sex addict, and the family system. Relational trauma left untreated will have both parties and the entire system crumbling. Attunement, communication, and empathy (ACE) are the three pronged stool that supports the long, and sometimes arduous, journey to restoring trust. The goal is to recognize the signs of relational trauma in both parties, and compare the difference between relational trauma and co-dependence
Sex addiction destroys trust in relationships, traumatizing the partner, the sex addict, and the family system. Betrayal is an attachment injury that topples the regulatory systems of both parties, and when relational trauma is left untreated, both parties and the family system will suffer. Thus, when acute emotional and physical symptoms become chronic, treatment becomes more difficult making the prognosis for restoring the coupleship poor. Rapid intervention and interactive regulation between the couple is essential for relational healing to begin immediately. Attunement, communication, and empathy (ACE) are the three-pronged stool that supports the long, and sometimes arduous journey to restoring trust.
When One or Both Partners are Highly Cognitive or Emotionally Avoidant. Accessing and deepening vulnerable emotions that are at first hidden, unspoken, unknown or masked by reactive and protective emotions is one of the most powerful skills of an emotionally focused couples therapist. Emotionally focused therapists facilitate emotionally moving enactments by guiding avoidant partners to turn to their partner and to share with them about their pain, sadness and fears.
There is a vast wisdom describing the capacity for self-transformation and healing central to Buddhist psychology, now a focus of current neuroscience research as well. We will delineate the principles and clinical/therapeutic applications of mindfulness, compassion and forgiveness trainings, attunement, mental health and well being, as well as the profound shift of identity that has parallels in eastern psychology and recent neuroscience research. We will explore the wedding of a spiritual psychology of the heart in tune with clinically sound modern science.