EP20 Topical Panel 13 - Family and Couples Therapy - Harriet Lerner, PhD; John and Julie Gottman, PhD; Michele Weiner Davis, LCSW

Description:

The family is a context in which treatment can be facilitated. Marriage has the capability of healing clients from old wounds.

Educational Objectives:

1. Discuss Fundamentals and approaches to effective couples therapy
2. Identify three characteristics of an effective consultation session with a couple

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Introduction of Speakers and Their Backgrounds

• Lerner: clinical psychologist and author of The Dance of Anger and Why Won’t You Apologize?

• John Gottman: professor emeritus, renowned for research on marital stability.

• Julie Gottman: co-founder of the Gottman Institute and expert in couples therapy.

• Michele Weiner-Davis: LCSW, founder of the Divorce Busting Center, known for divorce prevention work.

John Gottman on Domestic Violence During COVID-19

• Highlights rise in domestic violence during the pandemic.

• Notes 60% of couples therapy clients present with domestic violence across all relationship types.

• Distinguishes between situational and characterological violence.

• Emphasizes need for multi-method assessment (observation, physiology) and improved treatment approaches.

Effective Couples Therapy for Situational Domestic Violence

• Describes study with 40,000 couples using relationship checkups to exclude characterological violence.

• Intervention included group therapy, video feedback, and biofeedback for arousal regulation.

• Focused on social skills, conflict management, and physiological control.

• Results: less hostility, better satisfaction, reduced domestic violence in treatment group.

Michele Weiner-Davis on Mother-in-Law Triangles

• Discusses mother-wife-husband triangles in heterosexual marriages.

• Case: Jack struggles with anxiety over wife Judy’s complaints about his mother, Lorraine.

• Emphasizes importance of:

  • Listening to spouse

  • Taking a clear stand with kindness

  • Managing boundaries without alienating others

Impact of COVID-19 on Couples and Strategies for Coping

• Describes increased stress and conflict among couples during the pandemic.

• Personal example: disagreement with husband revealed underlying tension, not surface issue.

• Encourages:

  • Seeing some arguments as “red herrings”

  • Practicing self-soothing

  • Choosing battles

  • Normalizing tension and showing generosity

Normalizing and Sharing Personal Stories in Therapy

• Advocates for therapists sharing their struggles to normalize client experiences.

• Shares her own pandemic challenges to build therapeutic connection.

• Promotes therapist self-disclosure to help clients feel less alone and more supported.

Q&A Session and Closing Remarks

• Michele asks Gottmans about treatment of characterological domestic violence.

• John: Difficult due to lack of conscience and refusal to take responsibility.

• Julie: Breaking down defenses is a major challenge.