For the final class in the Utilization series, Patricia joins us to discuss her preference for being in control, and how that relates to her struggles with intimacy. She also requests help alleviating a psychosomatic response from an earlier trauma. Dr. Zeig uses an interpersonal approach to this session, utilizing verbal and body language techniques to help communicate complex concepts. Zeig establishes the theme of appreciate as the through-line for this session.
BT06 Workshop 04 - The Four Pillars of Relationship Change - Ellyn Bader, PhDDifficult couples challenge therapists with their aggressive interactions, their demands for intimacy, and the repetition of unyielding negative cycles. Dr. Bader will demonstrate how to use a developmental approach to target change in brief couples therapy by focusing on one of four pillars of change. Attendees will learn to take a strong leadership role so that clients change faster, with less conflict and more cooperation.
This workshop will introduce a new cognitive model for brief, solution-focused psychotherapy for couples. This cognitive paradigm is unique in several ways. It points to the fact that no one knows the client better than his/her intimate partner. The client’s partner pushes, pulls, and teases every imperfection of out their partner’s personality. Specifically, intimacy reveals what is incomplete about the client’s emotional development. It also reveals how effectively the client manages the needs he or she brings to the relationship. This is precisely what clients need to study themselves and points to what we as therapists can do to help our clients. With Robert Johansen, Ian Johansen and Todd Gaffnet.
Couples in distress minimize and numb their pain by avoiding contact. By writing a vision of what they both want, the therapist can focus the couple on the future. By combining Gestalt concepts with those popularized by Hendrix and others, therapists can have a powerful effect on quickening the healing process. New sessions will involve writing, note taking, and an agreed upon assignment to be practiced during the week. With Roberta Karant and Stefan Deutsch.
BT10 Workshop 14 - The State of Affairs: Rethinking our Clinical Attitudes Towards Infidelity - Esther Perel, MA, LMFT
Infidelity is generally regarded as a symptom of a troubled relationship, and the revelation of an affair triggers a crisis of trust and connection. In this workshop, we'll explore the multiple motives and meanings behind affairs against the complexities of marriage, sex, intimacy, and monogamy. We’ll examine the benefits and costs of truth-telling and transparency, how couples can rebuild trust and intimacy, and why affairs can actually stabilize a marriage and prevent its dissolution. In particular, we will focus on how couples can turn the crisis into an opportunity. Combining didactic material, case studies and video vignettes, we will lay out a nuanced and multicultural therapeutic approach for working with extramarital relations secret or revealed.
BT10 Workshop 28 - The Double Flame: Reconciling Intimacy and Sexuality - Esther Perel, MA, LMFT
This workshop probes the intricacies of love and desire—how they relate and how they conflict. Participants will learn how emotional intimacy can inhibit sexual desire and why “good intimacy” doesn’t necessarily make for “good sex.” Through case material and video vignettes, we’ll explore how our emotional history: “how we were loved” shapes our erotic blueprints and expresses itself in the physicality of sex: “how we make love”. We will show how to break through erotic impasses and help couples balance the dual needs for security and freedom. This model applies to couples and individuals from all sexual orientations.
BT10 Workshop 46 - The Initiator-Inquirer Process: Not a Communication Technique - Ellyn Bader, PhD
Couples come to therapy and say “we can’t communicate.” They want your help with communication. Yet effective communication often reveals trauma, accumulated resentment, narcissism or anxiety about intimacy. Resolution requires internal self development that may be resisted by one or both partners. This advanced workshop will use video and clinical transcripts to demonstrate the intricacies of resolving predictable communication breakdowns and supporting development.
Based on Perel’s Mating in Captivity, this bold take on intimacy and sex grapples with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our need for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. We will tackle eroticism as a quality of vitality in relationships extending far beyond mere sexuality and show how reconciling these two competing needs is at the heart of sustaining desire over time.
The presentation introduces a new, solution-focused model for treating individuals/couples. The model proposes specific and clear steps on how to differentiate types of love and how these impact intimacy. Participants will develop lasting strategies on how to effectively manage personal needs in the context of the intimate relationship.