Description:
This keynote explores the incredibly powerful ways we can restore hope in the flat-lined couples we encounter—both in and out of our offices. Be inspired with new, 11th hour strategies for helping challenging couples want to work things out.
Educational Objectives:
*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*
Outline:
Observations and Flight Story
Notes mostly female audience, jokes about the room being half full or empty.
Shares a story about meeting “Ron” on a flight who was confused about his wife’s unhappiness.
Ron’s attempt (buying flowers) led to an argument—illustrating deeper communication issues.
Helping Ron See His Wife’s Perspective
Encouraged Ron to validate his wife’s feelings rather than dismiss them.
Urged him to listen and empathize more deeply.
By the end of the flight, Ron was motivated to work on his marriage.
Therapist Motivation and Personal Influence
Says most therapists are drawn to the work due to personal life experiences.
Believes therapists shape therapy with their values and should be aware of that.
Identifies strongly as a “marriage saver” rather than a neutral clinician.
Personal Story: Parents' Divorce
Shares her own trauma from her parents’ divorce.
Explains how this inspired her to prevent unnecessary divorces.
Developed the “divorce busting” approach to help couples reconnect.
Guerrilla Divorce Busting Tactics
Encourages helping people outside the therapy office—friends, acquaintances, etc.
Advises giving unbiased, hopeful support to friends considering separation.
Describes the “walk-away wife syndrome,” where women silently plan their exits.
Recommends men focus on self-improvement and giving space if their wives pull away.
Role of Hope in Therapy
Describes herself as a “hope monger,” likening her work to Bernie Siegel’s optimism in cancer care.
Urges therapists to notice their own “hope blind spots” and not give up too soon.
Encourages modeling hope and resilience for clients.
Therapist Authenticity and Emotional Connection
Advocates for therapists being real, emotional, and self-disclosing when appropriate.
Says emotional honesty deepens therapeutic relationships.
Emphasizes walking the talk in their personal lives to stay congruent and effective.
Closing and Call to Action
Encourages therapists to be “guerrilla divorce busters” in everyday life.
Promote hope and optimism in all interactions—not just in the office.
Reminds therapists of their ripple effect in improving relationships and strengthening families.
Michele Weiner-Davis, LCSW is the Founder of The Divorce Busting Center in Boulder, Colorado. She is a popular TEDx speaker and the author of eight books including, Healing From Infidelity, and the bestselling Divorce Busting and The Sex-Starved Marriage. She is the recipient of several prestigious awards including the Outstanding Contribution to Marriage and Family Therapy Award from AAMFT.