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CC18 Workshop 05 - Creating Safety in the Space Between - Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD

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Topic Areas:
Workshops |  Anxiety |  Couples Therapy |  IMAGO |  Conflict |  Gender
Categories:
Couples Conference |  Couples Conference 2018
Faculty:
Harville Hendrix, PhD |  Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD
Duration:
1:47:37
Format:
Audio Only
Original Program Date:
May 04, 2018
License:
Never Expires.
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Tags: Anxiety Relationships Observation Conflict Resolution Pattern Interruption Reframing Relational Patterns Emotional Wounding Gender Roles Nonviolent Communication Safety in Dialogue

Description

Description:

Safety is a non-negotiable condition for thriving relationships. This workshop will inform and train participants in a three part process that helps create and sustain emotional safety.

Educational Objectives:

  1. Discuss the necessity of safety in thriving relationships.
  2. Demonstrate processes that regulate anxiety.
  3. Demonstrate the facilitation of couples in the three part process essential for emotional safety and connecting.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Workshop Introduction

  • Led by Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD.

  • Emphasized co-facilitation and blending life and work ("Plurk").

  • First part of a four-hour interactive session using exercises and dialog practice.

Imago Theory & Evolution

  • Imago has evolved from couple’s therapy to a social movement.

  • Four branches: theory, therapy, education, and cultural transformation.

  • Rooted in a shift from individualism to a relational, connection-based paradigm.

  • Influenced by relational thinkers (e.g., Buber, Rogers) and systems theory.

Relational Paradigm & “Space Between”

  • Emphasis on the space between people, not just within them.

  • Human beings are fundamentally relational and shaped by connection.

  • Workshop promotes relational safety, eye contact, and appreciation.

The Need for Reconnection

  • Core ideas: humans are wired for connection, experience rupture, and seek reconnection.

  • Therapy should help restore joy and aliveness in relationships.

  • Focus on three essentials: safety, connection, and full aliveness.

Imago Dialog & Safe Conversations

  • Dialog is a structured process: mirroring, validating, empathizing, summarizing.

  • Promotes safety, reduces polarization, and fosters emotional presence.

  • Participants practiced dialog techniques live, emphasizing empathy and curiosity.

Childhood Influence & Relationship Dynamics

  • Early unmet needs shape adult partner selection and behavior.

  • Patterns of neglect or intrusion affect relational triggers.

  • Exercise: identify childhood challenges and related unmet needs.

Power Struggle & Emotional Symbiosis

  • After romance comes the “power struggle” where partners try to get needs met by force.

  • Emotional symbiosis: projecting one’s internal state onto others, causing conflict.

  • Tools provided to foster mutual empathy and connection beyond conflict.

Therapist’s Role in Relationship Support

  • Therapists help couples understand unconscious dynamics and build empathy.

  • Exercises support therapists in guiding couples through difficult relational phases.

  • Emphasis on creating safe, collaborative therapeutic environments.

Metaphors: Hailstorm vs. Turtle

  • Hailstorm: expressive, intense, self-sacrificing partner.

  • Turtle: calm, steady, avoids conflict; helps regulate the relationship.

  • Understanding these roles helps improve relational communication.

Complementarity in Relationships

  • Partners often complement each other’s strengths and defenses.

  • Imago normalizes these differences and teaches healing through partnership.

  • Exercises guided participants to explore their childhood wounds and needs.

Participant Reflections

  • Some found the structure helpful; others found it cognitively overwhelming.

  • Key insight: naming childhood triggers promotes compassion and connection.

  • Mirroring and paraphrasing seen as powerful tools for emotional recognition.

Closing & Future Topics

  • Gratitude expressed for participant engagement.

  • Preview of future topics: curiosity, wonder, and deeper relational skills.

  • Resources for Imago and Safe Conversations training were shared.

Credits

Faculty

Harville Hendrix, PhD's Profile

Harville Hendrix, PhD Related Seminars and Products

Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD are partners in life and work. Their lives and work are integrated in their commitment to the transformation of couples and families and to the evolution of a relational culture that supports universal equality. Harville is co-creator of Imago Relationship Therapy and co-founder of Imago Relationships International. Chancellor of the Imago International Institute and emeritus board member of IRI. Dr. Hendrix has received an honorary Doctor of Humane Letters from Mercer University, Macon, GA, the Distinguished Service Award from the American Association of Pastoral Counselors, and the Distinguished Contributors Award by the Association for Imago Relationship Therapy. His latest book, written with his wife, Helen Hunt, is Receiving Love. 

Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD's Profile

Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD Related Seminars and Products

Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD are partners in life and work. Their lives and work are integrated in their commitment to the transformation of couples and families and to the evolution of a relational culture that supports universal equality.

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