When One or Both Partners are Highly Cognitive or Emotionally Avoidant. Accessing and deepening vulnerable emotions that are at first hidden, unspoken, unknown or masked by reactive and protective emotions is one of the most powerful skills of an emotionally focused couples therapist. Emotionally focused therapists facilitate emotionally moving enactments by guiding avoidant partners to turn to their partner and to share with them about their pain, sadness and fears.
Passive aggressive spouses challenge even seasoned couple’s therapists. One partner over functions and the other under functions. Both become entrenched in this pattern. And the passive aggressive partner stubbornly resists your best insights and agreements for change. As conventional therapy often falls flat with this couple, I will do a demonstration showing you to stay out of the middle and create an unconventional leverage for change. Leave with a comprehensive framework for changing
Can couples sustain the passion of romantic love? The answer: it depends upon the quality of the interactive space. This lecture will describe a new kind of marriage/ intimate relationship that meets the conditions required for restoring and sustaining the sensation of passionate love.
At no other time in history have men been so awash in mixed cultural messages and in such a state of transition, confusion, reactivity, and trouble. Despite being basically good hearted, many men continue to make a hash of their relationships. We therapists can help, but not before rethinking some of the sacred cows of therapeutic practice. Men need action and leadership from us, challenging them while still loving the little boy inside them and offering guidance and tools to their inner grown-up.
Biological Anthropologist Helen Fisher discusses four broad basic styles of thinking and behaving associated with four primary brain systems: the dopamine, serotonin, and testosterone and estrogen/oxytocin systems. She discusses why people are predisposed to love one person rather than another (mate choice). She hypothesizes that individuals who primarily express of the constellation of traits linked with each of these brain systems may be predisposed to different forms of love addiction, includ
The secret to helping couples have a powerful, transformative experience in therapy is to get them to deeply explore---while in each other’s presence---their own character structure and family-of-origin trauma. For the therapist, this process involves six steps: arriving at the couple’s relational diagnosis, helping them articulate their repeating loops, getting the backstory of their childhood adaptation, imaginatively reparenting each inner child, loving confrontation, and helping
Perhaps the single most discussed issue in couple therapy is sex. This two-hour workshop will lead clinicians through a series of interviewing techniques for examining sexual problems in couples. These techniques include questions to ask, assessment of explicit and implicit somatic answers, and other strategic, bottom- up methods for getting to the crux of the matter. We will also cover typical difficulties many therapists have with frank sexual questioning. We’ll examine attach- ment orga
Sue Diamond Potts will interview Dr. Ellyn Bader about her 33 years specializing in couples therapy. They will discuss what it was like when she started and how the field has changed. They will especially focus on what Ellyn has learned from consulting to couples therapists from 33 countries. Ellyn will describe common mistakes therapists make and what it takes to help couples and couples therapists evolve.
Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher discusses three brain systems that evolved for mating and reproduction: the sex drive; feelings of intense romantic love; and feelings of deep attachment to a long term partner. She then focuses on her brain scanning research (using fMRI) on romantic rejection and the trajectory of love addiction following rejection. She concludes with discussion of the brain circuits associated with long-term partnership happiness and the future of relationships in the dig