Total Credits: 2.0
Description:
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) produces deep, lasting change in couples quickly by breaking many cherished couple’s therapy rules. We take sides, for example. Not all problems are fifty-fifty. We judiciously self-disclose. We’re in it with you. We work with trauma in each partner, doing deep individual work in the presence of one another. We pay close attention to gender – the unique characteristics of men and women in our culture and how those differences collide. We work with issues of both shame and also of grandiosity. We explicitly address power imbalances, and rebalance them.
Through lecture, demonstration, and video excerpts of real sessions, workshop participants will learn how to join through the truth, the art of holding the mirror up to our clients in ways that not only leave them feeling you are on their side, but that you are actively rooting for them.
Educational Objectives:
*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*
Outline:
The Fundamentals of Relational Life Therapy (RLT) Introduction
Three phases of RLT:
Waking up the client (“joining through the truth”)
Inner child work
Land connection, education, and skill building
Emphasizes longer sessions (at least 1.5 hours) for meaningful change.
Dysfunctional Relational Stances and Inner Child Work
Dysfunctional stances like “angry pursuit” reflect deeper patterns.
Phase two involves reparenting the wounded or adaptive parts of the self.
Final phase focuses on teaching skills and fostering emotional connection—unique to RLT.
The Role of Trauma and Skill Building in Relationships
Relational skills are often missing due to cultural influences (e.g., patriarchy, addiction, narcissism).
Many want deep love but haven’t been taught how to sustain it.
This workshop emphasizes trauma and inner child work; advanced classes focus on skills.
The Importance of Relational Joy and Practical Techniques
Differentiates between short-term gratification and deep relational joy.
Uses a parenting story to illustrate lasting, meaningful connection.
Stresses techniques like empathy and accountability as core to relationship work.
Joining Through the Truth and Case Study of Peter
RLT's central method: join with clients by telling the truth compassionately.
Builds alliance with the client’s functional adult to bypass defensiveness.
Case video of “Peter” shows therapist confronting dysfunction while maintaining warmth.
Q&A Session and Further Explanations
Audience asks about phases and techniques.
Emphasizes diagnosing the client’s emotional state and finding therapeutic leverage.
Introduces “sustainable hurt”—growth through discomfort that doesn’t overwhelm.
The Role of Patriarchy and Post-Patriarchal Therapy
Patriarchy harms both genders by reinforcing dominance and silence.
Post-patriarchal therapy teaches men generosity and women to speak with love.
Goal: both partners move beyond rigid gender roles to foster intimacy.
The Importance of Accurate Diagnosis and Leverage
Uses seven diagnostic lenses to understand client dynamics.
Leverage empowers the latent partner to influence the blatant one.
Example: helping a client stop replicating an abusive parent’s behavior.
Children are often a key source of leverage.
Practical Techniques for Handling Dysregulation
Inner child work is central to managing emotional overwhelm.
Provides a handout on taking timeouts responsibly.
Therapist’s role is to create a calm, supportive environment for growth.
Final Thoughts and Audience Engagement
Encourages therapist participation and exploration.
Shares info on training programs and further learning.
Reinforces the value of skill-based, relationally focused therapy.
Session closes with gratitude and an invitation to apply RLT principles.
WS03 TRANSCRIPT (116.5 KB) | Available after Purchase |
Terry Real - High Impact Couples Therapy (1.3 MB) | Available after Purchase |
Terry Real - Joining Through the Truth (1 MB) | Available after Purchase |
Terry Real - Long Shadow (2.3 MB) | Available after Purchase |
Terry Real, LICSW, is a nationally recognized family therapist, author, and teacher. He is particularly known for his groundbreaking work on men and male psychology as well as his work on gender and couples; he has been in private practice for over twenty-five years. Terry has appeared often as the relationship expert for Good Morning America and ABC News. His work has been featured in numerous academic articles as well as media venues such as Oprah, 20/20, The Today Show, CNN, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today and many others.