CC18 Keynote 06 - Attachment, Differentiation, Individuation, and Neuroscience: Low Complexity Partners in Couples Therapy - Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

Description:

The early 1950s brought us John Bowlby's work on infant attachment, mirrored by Harry Harlow's primate attachment studies on rhesus monkeys. The 50s and 60s saw the advent of Murray Bowen's groundbreaking work on differentiation. The 1970s brought us further with Margaret Mahler's work on separation/individuation and the psychological birth of the human infant. Today, clinicians and researchers alike attempt to validate the developmental theories of Bowlby, Bowen, and Mahler through the modern lens of neuroscience. So what is the current clinical usefulness of these developmental models against the backdrop of developmental neuroscience? This presentation seeks to take up these seemingly kindred ideas and consolidate them through a perspective of psychology. Particular focus will be on low-complexity, normative partner examples versus extreme partner examples in couple therapy.

Educational Objectives:

1. Describe at least three insecure attachment behaviors that can be explained using models of Bowen, Mahler, and developmental neuroscience.
2. Differentiate personality disorders from non-pathological lower-complexity exhibitions of poor differentiation, individuation, and insecure attachment, using at least three criteria.
3. Describe at least three interventions with individuals exhibiting low-complexity features of poor differentiation, separation, individuation and insecure attachment.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Acknowledgment of Influential Figures

• Speaker credits Ellyn and other mentors for shaping his career.

• Encourages studying original sources and integrating diverse theories.

• Notes that therapists must personally organize and make sense of varying frameworks.

Understanding Low Complexity

• “Low complexity” refers to limited social-emotional and cognitive capacity—not poor behavior.

• Therapy must match the client’s cognitive and emotional makeup.

• Therapists should seek theoretical frameworks that resonate with their own development.

Theory of Mind and Social-Emotional Capacity

• Theory of mind = ability to understand others' mental states.

• Deficits cause relationship struggles, often unnoticed by the client.

• Therapist role: help build these capacities in clients to improve interactions.

Emotional Regulation and Memory Issues

• Alexithymia = difficulty recognizing and describing emotions; may be functional or structural.

• Poor emotional regulation impacts relationships deeply.

• Memory conflicts are common in couples—often damaging and unresolvable through logic.

Therapist’s Role and Stance

• Therapists must stay neutral, allowing partners to engage each other directly.

• Use movable furniture to facilitate face-to-face interaction.

• Be aware of projective identification—partners projecting their issues onto one another.

• Crossed techniques (e.g., watching the silent partner) help maintain balance.

Addressing Emotional Deficits

• Therapy should target weak social-emotional skills (e.g., empathy, emotional regulation).

• Deficits in these areas are major drivers of relational distress.

• Therapists must foster emotional learning in a nonjudgmental space.

Maintaining Coherence in Therapy

• Clarity and coherence are more important than theoretical allegiance.

• Avoid jumbled or inconsistent approaches—understand the models you use.

• Be authentic but also structured and willing to take interpersonal risks.

Conclusion

• Emphasizes working effectively with developmentally low-complexity couples.

• Adjust methods to match couple capacity and guide them toward secure functioning.

• Encourages continuous learning and maintaining a grounded therapeutic identity.