CC09 Workshop 15 - Fifteen Strategies for Working with Couples - PART 2 - Cloe Madanes, Lic Psic, HDL

Description:

Madanes will present fifteen strategies for enhancing love and passion. Some will be illustrated with videotapes of actual interviews.

Educational Objectives:

1. To describe how to develop heartfelt understanding between couples.
2. To describe how to enhance polarity.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

• Therapeutic Directives and Use of Humor

  • Cloe Madanes opens with Q&A from the prior session.

  • Emphasizes the importance of taking action in therapy using directives.

  • Directives can be direct, indirect, metaphorical, or paradoxical.

  • Humor helps maintain client engagement.

• Interactional View & Family Hierarchy

  • Focuses on the social context, especially family dynamics.

  • Therapy should involve multiple family members for broader perspective.

  • Families operate with hierarchy, not democracy.

  • Problems arise when hierarchy is violated (e.g., cross-generational coalitions).

• Case Study: Mother vs. Wife Loyalty

  • A husband’s loyalty to his mother caused marital strain.

  • Intervention: he calls his mother to affirm loyalty to his wife—marriage improves.

  • Notes cultural variations in family hierarchy values.

  • Western shifts in gender roles contribute to relational conflicts.

• Blocking Cross-Generational Coalitions

  • Couples should negotiate issues and present a united front.

  • “Executive meetings” (weekly couple discussions) help resolve issues constructively.

  • Optimism and the belief that all problems are solvable are key attitudes.

• Six Universal Human Needs

  • Certainty, variety, significance, love/connection, growth, contribution.

  • Each person prioritizes these needs differently.

  • Understanding and fulfilling each other’s needs strengthens relationships.

• Case Study: Volunteer Couple

  • Couple ranks and discusses their human needs.

  • Differences and commonalities in priorities are explored.

  • Therapist helps them identify actions to “raise their grade” in meeting each other’s needs.

• Improving Relationship Dynamics

  • Couple plans specific actions (e.g., more surprises, vacations) to enhance connection.

  • Negotiation and commitment to these actions are central to progress.

• Navigating Transition Phases

  • Question raised about handling opposing needs during life changes (e.g., retirement).

  • Cloe affirms these differences can be managed with understanding and compromise.

  • Emphasizes importance of proactive communication during transitions.