BT96 Clinical Demonstration 10 - Disrupting Couples Conflictual Communications - Ellyn Bader, PhD

Description:

Educational Objectives:

1. To view the various styles of brief therapy and to be able to apply techniques in given clinical situations.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline

Introduction & Purpose

• Ellen Bader introduces the demonstration: disrupting angry, escalating conflict in couples.
• Kelly and Bart present a scenario unknown to Ellen for live intervention.
• Focus on the Initiator-Inquirer process to build differentiation.
• Ellen will explain principles used at the end.

Kelly & Bart’s Initial Conflict

• Kelly wants more independence and to pursue her career; feels unheard.
• Bart sees this as breaking their original agreement; accuses Kelly of selfishness.
• Both feel angry, frustrated, and disconnected.

Ellen’s Early Intervention

• Ellen identifies Bart’s fear of losing their family structure and his anger over change.
• She acknowledges Kelly’s unhappiness and desire for independence.
• Ellen empathizes with both, framing their fears and unmet needs.

Exploring Emotions & Needs

• Ellen encourages Bart to share what he needs from Kelly emotionally.
• Bart reveals stress from work, long commute, and feeling unappreciated.
• Kelly struggles but starts listening and asking clarifying questions.

Bart’s Vulnerability & Kelly’s Response

• Bart expresses discomfort asking for appreciation—fears it looks weak.
• Kelly begins to validate his feelings but struggles with accusations of selfishness.
• Ellen stresses the need for mutual understanding and emotional safety.

Introducing the Initiator-Inquirer Process

• Ellen explains the process: one initiates, the other listens and asks questions.
• Bart practices as the Initiator, sharing his stress and desire to be understood.
• Kelly listens, asks questions, and shows growing empathy.

Breakthroughs & Continued Struggles

• Bart gradually opens up about his fears of more responsibility and being overwhelmed.
• Kelly works to validate Bart’s feelings, though defensive moments remain.
• Ellen keeps guiding them toward deeper emotional understanding.

Summary & Homework

• Ellen recaps progress and emphasizes continued practice.
• Homework: Reflect on their roles as Initiator and Inquirer and identify growth areas.
• Encouraged to keep building empathy and better communication.

Q&A & Closing

• Ellen answers audience questions about applying the Initiator-Inquirer process.
• Reinforces the importance of differentiation and emotional understanding in couples work.
• Offers additional resources and closes with gratitude and optimism for the couple.