BT16 Conversation Hour 07 - Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

Description:

Educational Objectives:

1. Learn the philosophies of various practitioners and theorists.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Introduction and Overview of Stan Tatkin's Work

• Introduced at the 2016 Milton H. Erickson Foundation’s Brief Therapy Conference.

• Tatkin references his book Wired for Love and his polytheoretical background (systems, psychoanalytic, social justice, attachment).

• Emphasizes fairness, justice, and sensitivity in therapy.

Insecure and Secure Attachment Models

• Insecure models are unjust, unfair, and insensitive psychological systems.

• Distancing group: self-focused, appearance/performance-oriented.

• Clinging group: emotionally regulates a parent.

• These may lead to personality traits but don’t qualify as self-disorders.

• Tatkin integrates infant/adult attachment, arousal regulation, and neurobiology.

Secure Functioning and Therapeutic Stance

• Secure functioning = two-person system built on fairness, justice, and sensitivity.

• Prohibits lying, addiction, and mismanagement of "thirds" (e.g., substances, outsiders).

• The system is prioritized for mutual survival, protection, and support.

Developmental Models and PACT Approach

• PACT = Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy.

• Combines structure with improvisation like jazz; grounded in development and neurobiology.

• Therapist aims to foster secure functioning using a dynamic, intersubjective approach.

Arousal Regulation and Confrontation

• Arousal regulation begins postnatally and shapes responses throughout life.

• Couples may be skewed toward high or low arousal states.

• Therapists confront maladaptive behaviors, not the self.

• “Going down the middle” = equal confrontation of both partners to create balance.

Challenges with Distancing and Clinging Partners

• Distancers avoid vulnerability; need gentle confrontation focusing on their pain and defense.

• Clingers often resist self-activation; need help mobilizing and asserting themselves.

• Cross-tracking keeps both partners engaged and responsive.

Case Demonstration and Practical Techniques

• Demonstrates live case using cross-tracking and equal engagement of partners.

• Therapist gathers info about one partner from the other to support mutual understanding.

• Emphasizes non-blaming, alliance-building, and targeting behaviors (not identity).

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

• Therapists must frequently rebalance the dynamic to prevent dominance.

• The goal is secure functioning and collaborative support between partners.