Although nowadays we have great models of couple therapy, therapists can become pessimistic in working with difficult couples—and inadvertently send messages that undermine their relationships. Based on a new research study with clients who have been in couple therapy, this presentation will describe things to generally avoid saying to couples about their relationship and its prospects for repair. The workshop will offer a mindset for staying positive with couples and a set of skills for handling therapeutic impasses without resorting to making comments that undermine the therapy and the couple relationship.