EP17 Workshop 03 - Safe Conversations: From the Clinic to the Public to IMAGO - Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD

Description:

The benefits of therapy tend to be confined to the clinic and to targeted clients with specific complaints. This workshop describes the process and outcome of distributing--face to face and through social media--the core therapeutic processes to the general public. Participants will experience the structure and process of a Safe Conversation, a relational psychoeducational process, the strategies and tactics of cultural healing and invited to join in developing a relational culture.

Educational Objectives:

1. List the four transformative processes that can be distributed to the general public.
2. Demonstrate the process of a Safe Conversation.
3. Describe and illustrate a relational competency.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Introduction and Workshop Overview

• Michael Munion introduces Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, noting their “Relationships First” initiative in Dallas.

• Workshop goal: bring therapeutic tools to the broader public to increase relational competence.

Origin and Impact of “Relationships First”

• Originated in Dallas to help underserved communities; translated and simplified for accessibility.

• Now reached 500,000+ people in 175 countries.

• Focuses on applying safe conversation techniques outside of clinical settings.

Workshop Kickoff and Exercises

• Participants engage in eye contact and affirmations (“You are wonderful”) to shift from problems to potential.

• Emphasis on structured, experiential learning through practice and demonstration.

The Human Need for Connection

• Harville discusses how children lose wonder due to emotional disconnection.

• Video demonstrates infants’ emotional responses to interaction and neglect.

• Joy and aliveness are found in relational, not solitary, experiences.

Conflict and Growth in Relationships

• Helen reframes conflict as a sign of potential transformation.

• Couples aren’t mismatched—they’re primed for growth.

• Advocates for pre-marriage relational education.

Safe Conversations Technique

• Emphasis on safety, structured talk, and sentence stems for mirroring and validation.

• “Make an appointment” before difficult conversations to create a safe space.

• Participants practice dialoguing about early childhood challenges.

Childhood Impact on Adult Relationships

• Participants use a chart to identify early wounds and needs.

• Practice sharing these insights with partners using the safe conversation process.

Reflections and Participant Feedback

• Many find the process simple yet emotionally impactful.

• Positive energy and structured format help bring clarity to deep emotional needs.

Scripting and Brain Rewiring

• Scripting helps rewire the brain through repeated relational patterns.

• Structure reduces anxiety and supports internalizing new communication habits.

Needs, Wounds, and Romantic Patterns

• Childhood experiences shape unconscious expectations in relationships.

• We often seek partners who resemble early caretakers to repair emotional wounds.

Romantic Love and Power Struggles

• After initial romantic connection, couples enter a power struggle phase.

• Growth comes from resolving this conflict between closeness and independence.

Defenses: Hailstorm vs. Turtle

• Hailstorms (maximizers) talk to connect; turtles (minimizers) retreat for safety.

• Understanding these patterns promotes empathy and relationship balance.

Paradigm Shift: Individual to Relational

• A new paradigm sees humans as fundamentally connected beings.

• Rooted in quantum mechanics, this view prioritizes “the space between” over individual psychology.

The Brain and Relationships

• Three-part brain: lower (reactive), middle (emotional), upper (thinking).

• Relationships improve when couples learn to access the upper, reflective brain.

Zero Negativity and Affirmations

• Zero negativity = no put-downs.

• Replace criticism with curiosity and daily affirmations to build safety and trust.

Frustration and Behavior Change Requests

• Process includes naming frustration, tracing its roots, and making specific requests.

• Demonstrated live with practical, step-by-step guidance.

Power of Presence

• Presence is vital for healing and connection.

• Small daily acts of full attention can repair emotional disconnect and deepen intimacy.

Closing and Resources

• Recap of key ideas: safety, empathy, presence, affirmations, structured dialog.

• Shared links to Imago therapy and “Relationships First” tools.

• Session closes with a song celebrating mutual support and connection