CC21 Panel 02 - Men Working with Men : What I Have Learned Over All These Years - Harville Hendrix, PhD; Terry Real, LICSW; Joseph Winn, MSW

Description:

Gender roles are in flux and evolve quickly. The panel will review issues of masculinity and indicate how therapists can respond constructively to men.

Educational Objectives:

1. List three unique issues for therapists working with men.
2. List three ways therapists can improve their practice with men.
3. Describe how to effectively confront issues of male privilege.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Introduction and Initial Remarks

• Jeff Zieg opens the panel on men working with men in clinical practice.

• Introduces panelists Harville Hendrix, Terry Real, and Joseph Winn.

• Asks each to share brief introductions and experiences.

Harville Hendrix's Introduction

• Primarily works with couples, not individual men.

• Observes men’s growth in workshops, including large group settings.

• “Draggies” (men pressured to attend) have declined; more men now come voluntarily.

• Notes increased male vulnerability and openness, including public crying and sharing.

• This shift spans various ethnic backgrounds.

Terry Real's Introduction

• Critiques generalizations about gender; focuses on cultural and social constructs.

• Defines traditional masculinity by dominance/control and invulnerability—both are harmful delusions.

• Notes feminism’s role in shifting norms, especially for younger men.

• Advocates for intimacy and vulnerability as essential male capacities.

Joseph Winn's Introduction

• Emphasizes intersectionality and the diversity of male experiences.

• Highlights trauma, assault, and marginalization as common yet overlooked male issues.

• Discusses gender role strain—pressure to conform to rigid masculinity.

• Stresses inclusion of queer, trans, and non-binary men in therapeutic models.

Discussion on Masculinity and Patriarchy

• Terry and Joseph: masculinity is enforced through shame and violence.

• Call for moving beyond patriarchy toward democratic, relational equality.

• Harville: essentialism (rigid definitions of identity) is abusive.

• All agree on the value of teaching relational skills and creating safe learning spaces for men.

Audience Questions and Insights

• Question raised: Is it abusive to let men define themselves through masculinity?

• Terry and Joseph: urge fluidity and moving past binary gender roles.

• Harville: the goal is to help men become more human and authentic.

• Panel emphasizes therapist self-awareness, self-love, and safe therapeutic environments.

Final Reflections and Closing

• Panelists affirm the importance of intimacy, connection, and challenging power dynamics in therapy.

• Therapists should serve as “intimacy merchants.”

• Call to continue applying these insights in clinical practice and personal growth.