CC09 Keynote 04 - My Favorite Couples in Therapy - Cloe Madanes, Lic Psic, HDL

Description:

Madanes will tell her favorite stories of therapy with difficult couples.

Educational Objectives:

1. To describe three ways of approaching couple’s therapy.
2. To list three ways of intervening with extended families in couples’ therapy.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

• Case: Incompatible Couple

  • Married 20 years, therapy for 20 years, constant fight about taking out the garbage.

  • Cloe avoided the garbage topic and focused on the husband’s chronic lateness.

  • Solution: he paid his wife for each minute late; she used the money to buy pretty, trivial things.

  • Result: improved punctuality and relationship dynamics.

• Case: Therapist with a Sick Husband

  • Husband’s heart condition worsened with poor eating habits.

  • Wife received money every time he ate something unhealthy; she shopped to cope with her anxiety.

  • Result: husband’s weight stabilized, no heart attack.

• Case: Dominatrix Affair

  • Husband unrepentantly seeing a dominatrix; wife devastated.

  • Cloe suggested the wife manage his dominatrix appointments.

  • Turns out the dominatrix was an aerobics instructor; the novelty wore off.

• Case: Cocaine Addiction

  • Lawyer addicted to cocaine; wife (also his secretary) told to act crazy on calls from suspicious people.

  • Husband submitted to drug tests; wife received a reward if he tested positive.

  • Result: family survived; office functioned better.

• Case: Therapist’s Infidelity

  • Wife discovered affair during pregnancy.

  • She demanded reparation; he quit his own therapy so she could start analysis.

  • Result: symbolic trade-off helped them recover.

• Case: Fondling Intervention

  • Couple with physical conflict was told to fondle each other in therapy.

  • Shifted energy into playful sexuality.

  • Therapy ended positively.

• Creating Good Memories

  • Diabetic wife and grumpy husband asked to recall best memories together.

  • Initially struggled, then built new memories.

  • Result: relationship and health improved.

• Establishing Couple Boundaries

  • Cloe encouraged couples to show closeness in front of parents (e.g., joking about intimacy).

  • Helped reinforce couple identity apart from their family of origin.

• Case: Divorce and Anorexic Teen

  • 15-year-old girl stopped eating; divorced parents were in conflict.

  • Father instructed to end his war with ex-wife and show support.

  • Result: girl resumed eating and recovered.

• Cloe ends by reaffirming her goal to prevent divorce and support marriages.