CC04 Conversation Hour 01 - Dilemmas of Marriage - Cloe Madanes, Lie. Psych.

Description:

Educational Objectives:

1. To learn the philosophies of various practitioners and theorists.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Joseph Campbell & Cultural Dynamics in Relationships

• Cloe Madanes begins the discussion with group seating and invites participation.

• A participant references Joseph Campbell and questions cultural differences in mate selection (e.g., arranged vs. chosen marriages).

• Cloe shares insights from Esther Perel’s workshop and emphasizes adapting concepts to therapeutic practice.

Arranged Marriages & Cultural Sensitivity

• Cloe describes an Indian family where the daughter accepted an arranged marriage.

• Stresses being a culture-free therapist who validates clients' values.

• Mentions polygamy as a practical solution in some cultural contexts.

• Encourages therapists to be heroic and creative, especially in challenging cases.

Exercise on Indirect Negotiation

• Cloe introduces an exercise with two participants holding opposing views (e.g., about President Bush).

• Guides them to explore personal histories and hardships behind their perspectives.

• Emphasizes empathy, internal negotiation, and emotional insight in resolving conflict.

Real-Life Applications & Archetype Roleplay

• Participants role-play archetypes (warrior, magician, lover, king) to build understanding.

• Cloe underscores listening deeply and evoking compassion.

• Cites work with Tony Robbins in Venezuela to prevent civil unrest using indirect negotiation techniques.

Creative Problem-Solving in Therapy

• Cloe shares a case of a Mexican wife’s infidelity reframed as “temporary insanity” to reduce shame.

• Describes motivating a suicidal client by redirecting focus toward fun and joy before job-seeking.

• Advocates for flexible, outside-the-box therapeutic thinking.

Handling Double Binds in Couples Therapy

• A participant asks how to manage double binds (e.g., expecting spontaneity on command).

• Cloe recommends coaching the husband privately and using humor (e.g., slow striptease).

• Suggests scheduling criticism to disrupt unhealthy communication patterns.

Fairness and Chore Disputes in Couples

• Cloe proposes playful solutions: invite a friend over or make the partner watch shows they dislike.

• Advises avoiding chore arguments in session.

• Offers a practical model: define standards or have one partner compensate financially.

Humor, Play, and Paradox in Therapy

• Cloe highlights the need for fun in sessions and minimizing over-communication.

• Recommends playful activities like imitating actors to improve relational dynamics.

• Encourages therapists to be inventive, tailoring unique strategies for each couple.