EP21 Workshop 04 - Safe Conversations - Harville Hendrix, PhD; Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD

Contextual change is essential to sustain personal change. This speech describes and discusses an experiment of exporting Imago Dialogue as a transformational process to the culture.

Learning Objectives

1. Discuss the necessity of contextual change to support personal change.
2. Describe the Safe Conversations Dialogue Process.
3. Practice the Safe Conversations Dialogue.

Outline:

Introduction to the Workshop

• Workshop will focus on moving therapy principles into the public and promoting relational change.

Origins and Goals of Safe Conversations

• Idea launched at 2009 Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference.

• Vision: Shift from individualism to a relational culture.

• Mission: Strengthen families and communities by teaching relational skills.

Development and Implementation of Relationships First

• Dallas, Texas chosen for pilot program due to high divorce and poverty rates.

• Focus on teaching relational competence across families, schools, and businesses.

• Workshops made accessible with childcare, manuals, and translation services.

Impact and Expansion of Safe Conversations

• Global expansion through streaming events.

• Endorsement from Dallas leaders like Mayor Mike Rawlings.

• Applied to various sectors: police, veterans, businesses.

The Science of Relationships and Safe Conversations

• Human behavior explained through brain science: reactive (crocodile) brain vs. wise (neocortex) brain.

• Safe Conversations fosters safety, reduces anxiety, and builds collaboration.

Practical Application of Safe Conversations

• Exercises: making appointments, mirroring, validating, empathizing.

• Focus on relational competence through structured communication.

• Zero negativity and daily affirmations emphasized.

Personal Stories and Challenges

• Harville and Helen share struggles and success with Safe Conversations in their own relationship.

• Highlight the importance of empathy and practicing relational skills consistently.

The Role of Empathy in Relationships

• Exercises focus on identifying childhood wounds and unmet needs.

• Aim to replace judgment with curiosity and mutual understanding.

Conclusion and Next Steps

• Summary: Practice Safe Conversations regularly to build healthier relationships.

• Encourage adoption of zero negativity and affirmations.

• Vision for a more connected community through relational education.

Safe Conversations Workshop: Personal Reflections

• Speakers share personal memories about needing private space and feeling respected.

• Emphasize the importance of presence and deep caring in relationships.

• Presence, more than gifts or tasks, fosters connection and emotional joy.

Safe Conversations as a Social Movement

• Invitation to join the movement and visit the Safe Conversations website.

• Introducing relational science concepts like quantum connection.

• Gratitude expressed to organizers and participants.

Q&A Session Highlights

• Managing Conflict Styles: "Turtle" (withdrawal) vs. "Hailstorm" (intensity) energy patterns.

• Parents and Teenagers: Safe Conversations dialog easily adaptable for family dynamics.

• Infidelity: Dialog helps rebuild safety and responsibility after breaches of trust.