EP20 Speech 07 - Doing Imago Therapy in the Space Between - Harville Hendrix, PhD ; Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD

Description:

Since life is lived in the Space-Between and remembered in Space-Within, thus giving birth to subjectivity, therapeutic intervention should be directed to the Space-Between in order to effect change in the Space-Within. This radical shift from subjectivity to the interactive space calls for a radical revision of therapeutic interventions. This speech will describe the problem and discuss the impact of relational interventions.

Educational Objectives:

1. Describe the difference between the Individual Paradigm and the Relational Paradigm
2. Identity ways to practice the Imago Dialogue
3. Teach the Imago Dialogue to others

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Understanding Conscious Partnership

• Focus shifts from individuals to the space between partners.

• Conscious partnership is defined by safety, equality, connection, and relaxed joy.

• Imago Dialog is the central practice, fostering collaboration and co-creation.

• Safety is essential—referencing Stephen Porges’ polyvagal theory.

Four Features of Conscious Partnership

• Dialog: Taking turns talking and listening to replace judgment with curiosity.

• Zero Negativity: Turning complaints into positive requests.

• Empathy: Understanding a partner’s present behavior through past struggles.

• Affirmation: Regularly pointing out what your partner does well.

Imago Dialog and Structured Conversations

• Encourages non-judgmental speaking and non-critical listening.

• Contrasts traditional monologue with structured, equal conversations.

• Dialog includes mirroring, validating, and empathizing.

• Sentence stems and structured turns create safety and clarity.

Practical Application of Imago Dialog

• Couples practice asking for “appointments” to talk.

• Eye contact, breathing, mirroring, and validation build connection.

• Demonstrated dialog helps couples understand each other more deeply.

• Focus is on building connection despite differences.

The Role of Empathy in Partnership

• Past unmet needs often drive current behavior.

• Imago identifies two caregiver types: intrusive and neglectful.

• Recognizing these patterns helps partners respond with compassion.

Affirmations and Replacing Negativity

• Replacing criticism with curiosity and affirmations strengthens bonds.

• Couples are encouraged to share appreciations daily.

• Affirmations build a positive relationship narrative and emotional safety.

Imago Therapy’s Impact on Families

• Helen shares personal examples of how Imago strengthened her family.

• The principles support peaceful, connected family environments.

• Imago has been used across generations to foster healthy relationships.

Closing Remarks and Q&A

• Q&A includes topics like mirroring, constructive criticism, and applying Imago in families.

• Final message: Don’t give up—growth and healing in relationships are possible.