EP20 Speech 03 - Couples and Work - Ellyn Bader, PhD

Description:

Increasingly more and more couples are working together or working virtually in the same space. It is estimated that in the United States 43% of small businesses are family-run and 53% of managers share day-to-day management with a spouse. Working together tends to kill romance and take over a couples life.

As therapists we tend to look at our clients mainly through the lens of our favorite therapy model. However, couples who work together face unique challenges that are not rooted in attachment styles or family of origin conflicts.

Ellyn will delineate 6 foundational skills that support couples who work together and demonstrate how the business can become a source of connection rather than generating stress and disconnection. (Includes video demo)

Educational Objectives:

1. Describe 6 foundational skills for building effective collaboration in couples who work together
2. Delineate 3 distinct decision-making strategies that minimize conflict and facilitate clear boundaries at work and at home
3. Outline negotiation principles that are unique for couples

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Introduction & Overview

• Dr. Ellyn Bader discusses challenges for couples working together, especially following COVID-19.

• Notes rising trend of couples starting businesses and unique dynamics involved.

Challenges Couples Face Working Together

• Blurred boundaries between work and personal life, intensified during remote work.

• Common areas of stress: finances, family involvement, loyalty conflicts, and differing risk tolerance.

Six Foundational Skills (CANDOR)

• Commitment: Clearly separate commitment to marriage vs. commitment to business.

• Acknowledgement/Appreciation: Regularly recognize each partner’s contributions ("Daily Double" exercise).

• Negotiation: Effectively handle conflicts, understanding each partner's perspective.

• Decision-Making: Define clearly who decides—Unilateral, Equilateral (equal), or 51/49% (weighted decisions).

• Ownership/Roles: Clearly define each partner’s roles, strengths, and responsibilities.

• Responsibility: Each partner takes responsibility for their roles and decisions.

Impact of COVID-19

• COVID-19 amplified stressors, particularly due to work-from-home arrangements.

• Emphasis on the importance of clear boundaries, flexibility, and communication.

Practical Examples & Exercises

• "Daily Double": Daily practice of mutual appreciation improves relationship and business partnership.

• Decision-making methods illustrated with real-life scenarios.

Audience Engagement

• Discussed differences in decision-making methods and managing COVID-related dynamics.

• Emphasized clear roles and boundaries as essential for maintaining balance.

Closing Thoughts

• Encourages ongoing appreciation, clear communication, and negotiation.

• Highlights importance of balancing passion for business and maintaining healthy personal relationships.