EP17 Clinical Demonstration 02 - Sharing an Early Life Challenge and Unmet Childhood Need - Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD

Description:

Chronic frustrations in adult significant relationships that are attended with intense negative emotions are rooted in unmet childhood needs. Identifying these needs helps partners become empathic with each other and also understand their own obsessive behavior. This demonstration will show clinicians how to identify early caretaker patterns, the unmet needs that result from them, the defense patterns used to cope with them and a process that will help address these needs as they show up in everyday life. 

Educational Objectives:

1. Describe core caretaker patterns and the needs they generate. 
2. Facilitate the Safe Conversation dialogue process. 

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Introduction and Speaker Backgrounds

• Introduction to the Milton H. Erickson Foundation's Evolution of Psychotherapy 2017 event.

• Clinical demonstration by Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD.

• Moderator Betty Friedson introduces the presenters:

  • Hendrix: psychologist, theologian, best-selling author, Oprah guest.

  • Hunt: feminist leader, NYT best-selling co-author, Hall of Fame inductee.

Opening Remarks and Session Goals

• Light humor opens the session.

• Focus: how childhood wounds shape adult relationships.

• Christine and James Campbell volunteer for a live demonstration.

• Goal: transform childhood wounds into needs that can be addressed within the relationship.

Imago Relationship Therapy Overview

• Therapy aims to heal childhood wounds through mutual empathy in structured dialogue.

• Structure prevents trauma reactivation and promotes emotional safety.

• Couples identify key childhood wounds using 10 common statements and a forced choice method.

Imago Dialog Demonstration

• Christine and James practice structured dialog:

  • Begin with appreciation.

  • Share a childhood wound and related need.

  • Partner mirrors and validates what was said.

• Sentence stems guide the sender and receiver to stay focused and respectful.

Emotional Connection and Validation

• Emotional connection reinforced with a full-body, one-minute hug.

• Hugging releases oxytocin, increasing bonding and safety.

• Emphasis on respectful, clear requests and sender responsibility.

• Therapist’s role: keep structure, model empathy, and guide process.

Audience Q&A and Final Remarks

• Dialog is introduced after couples identify their relationship goals and obstacles.

• Sessions typically last 90 minutes; weekend intensives are optional.

• For reluctant partners, therapists create a safe, non-pressuring space to encourage openness over time.