EP13 Conversation Hour 18 – Claudia Black, PhD

Description:

Educational Objectives:

1. Analyze and assess the philosophies of various practitioners and theorists.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

• Black shares logistical notes and plans for a short session.

• Focus: effective treatment for partners of sex addicts.

Impact on Partners

• A letter illustrates a partner’s shift from confidence to trauma and depression.

• Partners often experience betrayal trauma, PTSD symptoms, and loss of self-worth.

• Healing requires validation and addressing family of origin dynamics.

• Relationships struggle with broken commitments and boundary violations.

Sex Addiction Scenarios

• Examples include recent discoveries and long-term patterns of infidelity.

• Consequences: financial strain, children from affairs, emotional devastation.

• Behaviors range from porn use to anonymous sex and compulsive masturbation.

• Clarifies distinction between affairs and addiction—trauma is central either way.

Defining Sex Addiction

• Described as a pathological, progressive intimacy disorder.

• Features: preoccupation, obsession, escalation, and continued behavior despite harm.

• Parallels substance addiction; also marked by secrecy and shame.

Trauma and Betrayal

• Partners experience gaslighting, intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, and emotional instability.

• Grounding and psychoeducation are critical in early recovery stages.

Stabilization Phase

• Partners need to share their story and be believed.

• Understanding addiction reduces confusion and self-blame.

• Includes examining denial and rationalization by both addict and partner.

Core Issues and Family Background

• Second phase: unpack denial and deeper emotional patterns.

• Family of origin work is key to identifying lifelong survival strategies.

• Physical symptoms (e.g., migraines, digestive issues) often emerge from chronic stress.

Q&A Highlights

• Polygraphs: not standard but sometimes helpful.

• Emotional neglect and subtle control are forms of trauma.

• Partner reactivity often stems from trauma, not personality disorders.

Treating Singles and Co-Addiction

• Single individuals need similar treatment minus relational practice.

• Look for other addictions in both partners.

• View the family as a treatment unit; involve multiple members when needed.

Resources and Recovery Practices

• Suggests Al-Anon and support groups for family and children.

• Stresses importance of breaking secrecy and generational patterns.

• Recovery for partners includes group support, education, and setting boundaries.

Closing Reflections

• Healing begins with integrity, self-respect, and honesty.

• Recovery is possible, and help is available—for both addicts and partners.