EP09 Conversation Hour 02 – Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, LCSW

Description:

Educational Objectives:

1. To learn the philosophies of various practitioners and theorists.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Personal Background

• Reflects on her mother’s divorce and its emotional impact.

• Emphasizes how personal experience shaped her focus on helping long-term marriages succeed.

Personal Experience and Professional Focus

• Her family’s divorce history inspired her mission to prevent unnecessary divorces.

• "Divorce is forever" becomes a guiding belief in her work, highlighting its lifelong family impact.

• Shares a story of visiting divorced parents, underscoring emotional consequences.

Divorce Trends and Relationship Challenges

• Notes rising divorce rates, especially among empty nesters.

• Most divorces stem from solvable, “garden variety” problems.

• Promotes the core message of her book Divorce Busting: most marriages can and should be saved.

Walk Away Wife Syndrome

• Describes the common dynamic where women emotionally withdraw before filing for divorce.

• Explains how women often become relationship caretakers while men miss emotional cues.

• Emphasizes importance of shared time and male understanding of female needs.

Divorce Busting Center and Therapeutic Model

• Works with “11th Hour” couples, often facing infidelity or long-term disconnection.

• Advocates change even when only one partner is in therapy.

• Uses personal intensives and phone coaching with proven success.

Online Community and Professional Resources

• Created an online message board for couples to find support and share experiences.

• Promotes self-help and confidentiality, especially in infidelity cases.

• Reinforces the power of hope and therapist optimism in relationship recovery.

Addressing Infidelity and High-Stakes Problems

• Advises careful handling of affair disclosures with focus on repair and commitment.

• Shares a success story of a woman recommitting to her marriage.

• Acknowledges the limits of work when dealing with addiction or abuse.

Engaging Men in Therapy

• Explores challenges in reaching traditional men who are action-focused.

• Encourages women to adjust communication styles to better connect with their partners.

• Discusses the complexity of midlife crises in couples therapy.

The Last Resort Technique

• Introduces the technique for partners dealing with withdrawal or crisis.

• Key steps: stop pursuing, avoid status-checking, become less predictable, find independent interests.

• Emphasizes patience and looking for small, positive shifts in partner behavior.

Success Stories and Encouragement

• Shares a reader’s success using the Last Resort Technique to save their marriage.

• Reiterates the critical role of hope in the therapeutic process.

• Encourages therapists to teach actionable tools and remain optimistic for their clients.