CC24 Workshop 01 - From Control to Relational Empowerment: Transcending Patriarchy One Couple at a Time - Terry Real, LICSW

Description: This presentation introduces Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a three-phase approach centered on awakening clients, confronting truth with compassion, and engaging in deep trauma work. It addresses power imbalances in couples by identifying “blatant” and “latent” roles, and emphasizes forming therapeutic alliances with clients’ wise adult selves. Key themes include relational mindfulness, empathy, managing grandiosity, and promoting systemic change for lasting relational transformation.

Syllabus Description: Relational Life Therapy, (RLT) specializes in couples on the brink no one else has been able to help. We produce deep, lasting change quickly by helping our clients step into a new world. We offer a map for a new way to live and a practical toolbox to realize it. Our clients move beyond the individualistic patriarchal mores we’ve all grown up with to discover the ecological wisdom of relationship, interconnectedness.  This is not pie in the sky idealism but rather a practical “relational technology” that can effectively equip our clients to create and sustain the lifelong lover relationships we now long for. 
Couples first learn to think relationally – which is itself transformative. For example, the relational answer to the question: “Who’s right and who’s wrong?” Is: ‘Who cares?” What matters is: “How do we face the issue at hand in a way that works for both of us?”

RLT takes place in three stages

1. Waking Up The Client 
   Loving confrontation (joining through the truth) forms an immediate therapeutic alliance by helping clients see the repeating dysfunctional stances they bring into
   their relationships, for example, angry pursuit, their part in the vicious circle they’re stuck in.
2. Trauma Work in the Presence of the Partner
   RLT is unique in doing deep trauma work inside the couples therapy. Where did you learn to do this? What, and who, were you adapting to?
3. Learning the Skills of Relational Living
   Essential, potent, and uncommon skills are taught and reinforced 

This workshop introduces and demonstrates all three phases.

Learning Objectives:

1. Differentiate between the ‘Three Phases of RLT’
2. Create an environment to do trauma work in front of the partner
3. Distinguish between shame and guilt, which is healthy and directs us toward interpersonal repair