CC16 Topical Panel 02 - Differentiation - Esther Perel, MA, LMFT; Terry Real, LICSW; and Ellyn Bader, PhD

Description:

Educational Objectives:

1. To describe the use of brief therapy techniques in specific clinical situations.  

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Absolutely! Here's the condensed version with all speaker references removed:

Outline: Lies, Deception, and Infidelity in Relationships

Introduction

• Focus on lies and deception in couples therapy.
• Importance of addressing dishonesty to improve relationships.
• Example shared from Dear Abby about financial dishonesty in marriage.
• Universal nature of lying, even in young children.

Survey Findings on Lying

• Survey of 665 couples:
  • 33% of women and 40% of men admitted to lying in the past year.
  • Men more likely to believe honesty would improve their relationship.
• Common reasons for lying: avoiding conflict, protecting a partner, or self-preservation.

Loving Lies and Lies of Omission

• Early-stage "loving lies" create illusion of compatibility.
• Examples: exaggerating compliments or hiding significant information.
• Lies of omission, like hiding celibacy, often emerge after commitment.

Conflict Avoidance and Deception

• "Dark side of the honeymoon" phase: conflict avoidance leads to dishonesty.
• Common behaviors: finessing topics, hiding details, minimizing issues.
• Couples often rationalize conflict avoidance and miss authentic connection moments.

Complexities of Infidelity

• Infidelity as betrayal of trust and loyalty, involving emotional and sexual elements.
• Explored through diverse case examples, showing varying reasons and circumstances.
• Importance of understanding both interpersonal dynamics and individual challenges.

Confronting Lies and Deception in Therapy

• Importance of addressing deception directly in therapy.
• Types of confrontation: soft to hard.
• Goal: break repetitive negative cycles and create change.
• Case example: 18-month-long lying exposed, wife seeks truth and understanding.

Detailed Infidelity Case Study

• Husband engaged in a long-term affair, rationalizing his behavior.
• Explored self-deception, avoidance, and conflicting therapy goals (divorce vs. reconciliation).

Jealousy and Its Impact

• Jealousy examined through a couple’s struggle over an ex-spouse relationship.
• Focus on managing internal fears rather than controlling external behaviors.
• Progress shown as honesty improves emotional management.

Final Thoughts

• Honesty and authenticity are central to healthy relationships.
• Therapy must confront lies and deceptions for true healing.
• Ends with reflection on the complexities of infidelity and the importance of emotional courage.