CC23 Panel 02 - When Infidelity is Traumatic - Martha Kauppi, MS, LMFT; Ellyn Bader, PhD; Lori Weisman, MA, LMHC; Cristine Toel, LPC
- Average Rating:
- Not yet rated
- Topic Areas:
- Keynotes | Crisis Therapy | Polyamory | Relationships | Trauma
- Categories:
- Couples Conference | Couples Conference 2023
- Faculty:
- Martha Kauppi, MS MFT | Ellyn Bader, PhD | Lori Weisman, MA | Cristine Toel, LPC
- Duration:
- 59:32
- Format:
- Audio Only
- Original Program Date:
- May 07, 2023
- License:
- Never Expires.
Description
Infidelity erodes trust and can destroy relationships. Traumatic effects can be addressed.
Learning Objectives:
- Describe Infidelity
- Describe a method of working with a couple when infidelity is a presenting complaint.
Outline:
Introduction & Panelist Specializations
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Panel topic: Infidelity treatment and recovery.
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Expertise includes:
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Intensive two-day therapy formats for couples.
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Outpatient intensive treatment for significant betrayal.
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Consensual non-monogamy and transitioning from infidelity to polyamory.
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Long-term private practice work with couples after infidelity.
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Panel Structure & Video Clips
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Focus: Transitioning couples from crisis to deeper therapeutic work.
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Video clips used to illustrate therapy challenges and interventions.
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Demonstration of ineffective therapist responses versus effective alternative interventions.
Role-Play & Intervention Techniques
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Example role-play: Redirecting husband away from seeking external validation.
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Intervention targets internal turmoil, guilt, and self-reflection.
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Highlights importance of preparing clients emotionally before deep therapeutic work.
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Intervention helps partners understand issues as internal rather than relational.
Discussion on Therapeutic Techniques
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Emphasis on addressing internal emotional issues before relational repair.
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Role-play illustrates importance of self-awareness and individual responsibility.
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Therapeutic interventions aimed at relieving partners from blame or confusion.
Second Video Clip & Further Intervention
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Clip highlights therapist role-playing to address husband's guilt and internal fears.
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Focuses on understanding emotional conflicts related to family history.
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Therapist validates feelings and encourages emotional exploration and processing.
Audience Questions & Panel Discussion
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Importance of individual therapeutic work during crisis stage emphasized.
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Discussion on team-based treatment models and benefits of collaboration.
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Sharing cases that illustrate successful use of intensive, collaborative treatment.
Transition to Deeper Therapeutic Work
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Internal emotional work must precede attempts at relational repair.
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Individual therapy helps partners recognize attachment wounds and emotional barriers.
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Collaborative therapeutic teams support each partner effectively through crisis and recovery.
Audience Engagement & Final Thoughts
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Audience questions include:
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Effectiveness of EMDR for affair-related trauma and flashbacks.
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Establishing supportive therapeutic structures for couples.
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Panel emphasizes careful management of therapy process to meet each partner’s unique needs.
Credits
Faculty
Martha Kauppi, MS MFT Related Seminars and Products
Martha Kauppi believes that relationships (with yourself, your family, your partner, your culture, your community) form the context for life and provide some of the richest material for both joy and struggle. Improving any of our relationships improves every aspect of life. She is skilled in relationship, family, and couple counselor, and love working with people who are addressing family relationship challenges, improving couple communication, or exploring improved intimate connection.
Ellyn Bader, PhD Related Seminars and Products
Ellyn Bader, PhD, is a founder and director of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. As a clinical psychologist, workshop leader, author, and speaker, she is dedicated to helping couples create extraordinary relationships. Over the past 30 years she has trained therapists in couples therapy throughout the United States as well as Europe, Asia, South America, and Australia. She served as a Clinical Faculty in Stanford University School of Medicine for 8 years.
Cristine Toel, LPC Related Seminars and Products
Cristine Toel is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Psychological Counseling Services, Ltd. She is an EMDRIA Certified EMDR therapist, and an EMDRIA Approved Consultant. She is also a member of the ongoing Psychodrama Group at the Arizona Psychodrama Institute, and a specialist in Problematic Sexual Behavior (SASH). She works with adults, adolescents, couples, and families and specializes in cases of complex trauma, PTSD, anxiety, depression, problematic sexual behavior, betrayal, crisis and difficult life transitions, adult children of alcoholics (and other family of origin dysfunction), and cases involving divorce, remarriage, and blended family concerns.
PCS offers a weekly intensive program (30 hours of individual therapy and 25 hours of group therapy), which provides a therapeutic team approach for clients looking to mend difficult trauma, crisis, and addiction. Cristine finds it fulfilling to work with intensive clients, because it allows her to pursue and help heal deep, historic traumas that are sometimes challenging to address in weekly therapy.
Cristine has a nurturing, down-to-earth approach, and she is passionate about healing trauma, recognizing strengths, and developing an “I-Can” approach to living. She encourages her clients to trust their ability to handle struggles in life, including conflict, stress, anxiety, depression, boredom, and overall messiness, by adopting healthy coping rather than maladaptive habits, addictions, and escapes. As a result, she has seen many clients experience significant shifts and begin to engage in deeper intimate relationships with the people who love them.