BT10 Workshop 14 - The State of Affairs: Rethinking our Clinical Attitudes Towards Infidelity - Esther Perel, MA, LMFT
Infidelity is generally regarded as a symptom of a troubled relationship, and the revelation of an affair triggers a crisis of trust and connection. In this workshop, we'll explore the multiple motives and meanings behind affairs against the complexities of marriage, sex, intimacy, and monogamy. We’ll examine the benefits and costs of truth-telling and transparency, how couples can rebuild trust and intimacy, and why affairs can actually stabilize a marriage and prevent its dissolution. In particular, we will focus on how couples can turn the crisis into an opportunity. Combining didactic material, case studies and video vignettes, we will lay out a nuanced and multicultural therapeutic approach for working with extramarital relations secret or revealed.
Few couples seem as unlikely to profit from therapy as those in which one partner as already decided to leave. Yet, even at this point, a therapist has an opportunity to turn the situation around. In this workshop, you will learn how to step in, even at the 11th hour, and help couples with seemingly intractable problems – hopelessness, ongoing affairs, and one spouse’s unwillingness to seek therapy, to resolve their difficulties, recommit to their marriage, and reclaim their lives.
This workshop will give you a language to help hurt parties normalize the profound sense of psychological loss they experience after an affair. It also will spell our exactly what unfaithful partners can do to earn forgiveness and what hurt partners can do to help foster forgiveness.
No other aspect in the lives of couples, today as well as yesterday, generates more fascination, gossip and fear as infidelity. In our society, sexual infidelity is mostly seen as a symptom of a relationship gone awry. The revelation of an affair can trigger a crisis that shakes the very foundation of trust and connection in the couple. The purpose of this workshop is to present a multi-cultural, non-judgmental perspective to probe the meanings of affairs, rethink fidelity, and address the complexities of marriage, sex, intimacy, and monogamy. We will look at the value and the price of honesty and truth telling, and explore the circuitous ways affairs aim to stabilize a marriage and prevent the dissolution of the family.
Lies and deception wreak havoc in couples' relationships. To work successfully with couples after significant betrayal, the therapist must use attachment and differentiation-based interventions. Learn to identify three patterns of deception; when deception can be repaired and when it can't; and what is the essence of successful repair.
Infidelity is not necessarily about sex, but about secrets and the violation of trust. In this workshop, Dr. Spring will map out the trauma of an affair (or other intimate wounds) and help partners think through whether or not, and how to reconcile.
Infidelity is not necessarily about sex, but about secrets and the violation of trust. In this workshop, Dr. Spring will map out the trauma of an affair (or other intimate wounds) and help partners think through whether and how to reconcile.