Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of affair recovery is the worry by the betrayed partner that the unfaithful partner has not in fact ended contact with the affair partner or will re-establish contact. This can be especially pernicious and enduring when the unfaithful partner has been discovered to have had additional contact after vowing to end it. For many betrayed partners, these subsequent discoveries can feel like even deeper betrayals than the initial infidelity, even more salt in the wound. The unfaithful partner will swear up and down that there has not been any additional contact and that there will not be in the future. The betrayed partner desperately wants to believe it, but also needs to protect themself against further pain. The dilemma for both partners (and the therapist) is that we cannot prove a non-event–it’s possible to show that something did happen, but a lack of evidence may also simply mean that it has not yet been discovered. “Is it really over?”
Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of affair recovery is the worry by the betrayed partner that the unfaithful partner has not in fact ended contact with the affair partner or will re-establish contact. This can be especially pernicious and enduring when the unfaithful partner has been discovered to have had additional contact after vowing to end it. For many betrayed partners, these subsequent discoveries can feel like even deeper betrayals than the initial infidelity, even more salt in the wound. The unfaithful partner will swear up and down that there has not been any additional contact and that there will not be in the future. The betrayed partner desperately wants to believe it, but also needs to protect themself against further pain. The dilemma for both partners (and the therapist) is that we cannot prove a non-event–it’s possible to show that something did happen, but a lack of evidence may also simply mean that it has not yet been discovered. “Is it really over?”
Hypnosis is a powerful tool for change and when used in couples therapy it can connect couples with their internal resources, teach them co-regulation, and help create secure bonding. This workshop will teach simple and impactful techniques that you’ll be able to use right away with your couples to empower them to change and make therapy session memorable. No previous experience with hypnosis is necessary.
Hypnosis is a powerful tool for change and when used in couples therapy it can connect couples with their internal resources, teach them co-regulation, and help create secure bonding. This workshop will teach simple and impactful techniques that you’ll be able to use right away with your couples to empower them to change and make therapy session memorable. No previous experience with hypnosis is necessary.
Talking is the most dangerous thing most people do, and listening is the most infrequent. Participants in this workshop will learn that “how” we talk, not “what” we talk about is the source of all human conflict. And they will learn a new way of talking without criticism, listening without judgment, and connecting beyond difference that will be transformative in all aspects of their lives, including how they do couple’s therapy.
Talking is the most dangerous thing most people do, and listening is the most infrequent. Participants in this workshop will learn that “how” we talk, not “what” we talk about is the source of all human conflict. And they will learn a new way of talking without criticism, listening without judgment, and connecting beyond difference that will be transformative in all aspects of their lives, including how they do couple’s therapy.
Stressed out, burned out couples don’t have the time or energy to take care of themselves, let alone to nurture their relationship. They come to couples therapy, but then say they’re too busy when they don’t apply what is discussed in session. They’re cutting corners on sleep, diet, and exercise and thereby have less cognitive and emotional bandwidth, including for their partner. They’re more irritable with each other, less patient, and less tolerant of differences. They can easily fall into a zero-sum tug of war where both partners hope for more support from the other, but neither has it to give, furthering the discontent with each other.
Everyone knows the obvious good advice on sleep, diet, and exercise, yet then doesn’t always do it. What does this poor self-care reveal about the individual or the relationship? What are the deeper individual and relationship dynamics that interfere with this self-care?
Stressed out, burned out couples don’t have the time or energy to take care of themselves, let alone to nurture their relationship. They come to couples therapy, but then say they’re too busy when they don’t apply what is discussed in session. They’re cutting corners on sleep, diet, and exercise and thereby have less cognitive and emotional bandwidth, including for their partner. They’re more irritable with each other, less patient, and less tolerant of differences. They can easily fall into a zero-sum tug of war where both partners hope for more support from the other, but neither has it to give, furthering the discontent with each other.
Everyone knows the obvious good advice on sleep, diet, and exercise, yet then doesn’t always do it. What does this poor self-care reveal about the individual or the relationship? What are the deeper individual and relationship dynamics that interfere with this self-care?
Therapists experience the same relationship issues we see in our offices. Although our clinical training may give us more access to our inner emotional lives than many people, we face “occupational hazards,” such as a tendency to read our partner’s mind and then explain it to them. With humility and humor, let’s explore the relational self of the therapist and how we sometimes show up in couple therapy. In this workshop, we’ll learn how to how to help fellow therapists when they come as clients to leverage their personal and professional strengths to have healthier relationships—and avoid blind spots that come with the territory.
Therapists experience the same relationship issues we see in our offices. Although our clinical training may give us more access to our inner emotional lives than many people, we face “occupational hazards,” such as a tendency to read our partner’s mind and then explain it to them. With humility and humor, let’s explore the relational self of the therapist and how we sometimes show up in couple therapy. In this workshop, we’ll learn how to how to help fellow therapists when they come as clients to leverage their personal and professional strengths to have healthier relationships—and avoid blind spots that come with the territory.