Heuristic (hyoo' ristik) Enabling a person to discover or learn something for themselves. A "hands on" approach to learning. What would it look like if the primary goal of therapy were to enable clients to discover, experience for themselves the goals they set in therapy. A simple model for heuristic helping will be presented.
Now that you understand the neuropsychology of attachment, how are you going to use it in a session where one partner is yelling at the other for abandoning him/her who is in turn trying to take refuge under the coach? Learn how to put theory into practice using an experiential approach to explore old neural circuitry around attachment and build new pathways. We will be using the present moment and mindfulness integrated into therapy to slow things down and rewire the brain.
Two particularly challenging issues that surface in couples therapy are addiction and self absorption. Through the lens of the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, Sue and Ellyn will describe how to make strategic treatment decisions that propel couples toward sobriety and more collaborative functioning. They will review the troublesome traits of the self-absorbed partner and illuminate ways to increase other-differentiation and increase caring and compassion.
Engaging withdrawn men in therapy is often challenging, particularly when the man is engaged in compulsive sexual behaviors such as affairs and pornography. Therapists will learn to how to engage withdrawers both with their own internal experience and disowned aspects of the self and with their partner. Therapy video will be used to demonstrate the process.
Everybody lies. Some lies are loving and harmless. But, others are enormously destructive. Couples’ patterns of deception often begin innocently but end in couples destroying the love they once had. Self- deception, conflict avoidance and felony lies all undermine commitment and connection. Learn to identify and disrupt deception, confront evasiveness and hypocrisy and facilitate differentiation.
Attachment theory posits, along with those healthy ones, the ‘securely attached,” two important types of troubled groups – those with “anxious,” and “avoidant,” attachment styles. Said in plain English, this amounts to pursuers and distancers. But the pursuer/distancer dynamic has been a central concern to couples and family therapy since it’s inception in the nineteen-fifties. This workshop will look at some of the many ways this dynamic has been thought of and treated – from recursive feedback loops, to “love addiction/love avoidance,” to attachment styles and beyond.
Couples therapy tends to operate without a clear map of successful outcome, except the reported satisfaction/dissatisfaction of the couple. In this workshop, we will propose an optimal outcome of couple’s therapy, the process of reaching it and demonstrate the procedures that achieve it.
This workshop focuses on couple therapy with highly disorganized partners and couples. Special attention will be paid to the importance of strong therapeutic frame (rules) and therapeutic stance (goals). Highly disorganized partners and couples will be viewed through the lens of attachment theory, regulation theory, and neurobiological development.
Through case examples, Esther Perel will show how to effectively engage such issues as intimacy, sexuality and infidelity by creating separate spaces where each partner can explore his/her feelings and experiences along with larger relationship dynamics. We will show how to navigate privacy and secrecy, honesty and transparency, stage interventions around sexual impasses, and structure a safe and flexible therapeutic environment to work effectively with infidelity.
Sex addiction destroys trust in relationships, traumatizing the partner, the sex addict, and the family system. Relational trauma left untreated will have both parties and the entire system crumbling. Attunement, communication, and empathy (ACE) are the three pronged stool that supports the long, and sometimes arduous, journey to restoring trust. The goal is to recognize the signs of relational trauma in both parties, and compare the difference between relational trauma and co-dependence