Talking is the most dangerous thing most people do, and listening is the most infrequent. Participants in this workshop will learn that “how” we talk, not “what” we talk about is the source of all human conflict. And they will learn a new way of talking without criticism, listening without judgment, and connecting beyond difference that will be transformative in all aspects of their lives, including how they do couple’s therapy.
Stressed out, burned out couples don’t have the time or energy to take care of themselves, let alone to nurture their relationship. They come to couples therapy, but then say they’re too busy when they don’t apply what is discussed in session. They’re cutting corners on sleep, diet, and exercise and thereby have less cognitive and emotional bandwidth, including for their partner. They’re more irritable with each other, less patient, and less tolerant of differences. They can easily fall into a zero-sum tug of war where both partners hope for more support from the other, but neither has it to give, furthering the discontent with each other.
Everyone knows the obvious good advice on sleep, diet, and exercise, yet then doesn’t always do it. What does this poor self-care reveal about the individual or the relationship? What are the deeper individual and relationship dynamics that interfere with this self-care?
Therapists experience the same relationship issues we see in our offices. Although our clinical training may give us more access to our inner emotional lives than many people, we face “occupational hazards,” such as a tendency to read our partner’s mind and then explain it to them. With humility and humor, let’s explore the relational self of the therapist and how we sometimes show up in couple therapy. In this workshop, we’ll learn how to how to help fellow therapists when they come as clients to leverage their personal and professional strengths to have healthier relationships—and avoid blind spots that come with the territory.
In this keynote, we will delve into the transformative realm of Solution-Focused Couples Therapy, exploring the Diamond Approach that unlocks the potential for harmony in relationships. This approach focuses on cultivating positive change, resilience, and effective communication, empowering couples to navigate challenges and deepen their connection. Join us on a journey to discover practical tools and insights that foster understanding, promote emotional intimacy, and pave the way for enduring relationship satisfaction.
Although nowadays we have great models of couple therapy, therapists can become pessimistic in working with difficult couples—and inadvertently send messages that undermine their relationships. Based on a new research study with clients who have been in couple therapy, this presentation will describe things to generally avoid saying to couples about their relationship and its prospects for repair. The workshop will offer a mindset for staying positive with couples and a set of skills for handling therapeutic impasses without resorting to making comments that undermine the therapy and the couple relationship.
Male couples face multiple challenges. Living with a status that is unrecognized or marginalized, and where societal homophobia is consciously and unconsciously internalized, serves to erode these couples’ strengths and ability to thrive.
This workshop will explore how male couples maintain successful long-term relationships while choosing the model (heteronormative, open, monogamous, polyamory, and betrayal) that is right for them. Additionally it will address how gay development impacts the wellbeing of male couples.
The initial session may be even more important for couple therapy than individual therapy because the partners often have different levels of motivation and competing ideas about what problems to work on. They may also hijack the session when their reactivity is high, and then feel that nothing was accomplished. In this workshop, you will hear three experienced couple therapists describe how they take charge of the first session while communicating empathically with the couple, what key information they gather, and how they form a working alliance with two people who are at odds with each other.
The needs of couples change as our times are changing. Flexibility around sexuality, gender and betrayal are skills that we need to continue to incorporate. This panel will discuss issues of gender, identity shifts, sex and intimacy, and multiculturalism that modern couples encounter in their relationships. We will also discuss alternative and modern monogamy structures and how to create new monogamy agreements.
As practicing relationship experts we find ourselves steeped in war these days. In styles hot and cold, waring couples seek our advice. Conflict between nations haunts our consciences. Even Nature itself seems to be turning against us as a result of our own virtually suicidal behaviors. Across the globe, Democracy is on the ropes with an alarming resurgence of autocracy, the rise of the most virulent, savage aspects of Patriarchy. As a species, we are at a crossroads. We will trade in the millennial old paradigm of “power over” for a new life based on ecological wisdom, interdependence, or we may bequeath to our children and grandchildren a hot, mean, largely toleration world.
How can we relationship experts stand by in “neutral” silence – when we have something so critical to say, to teach?