Couple therapists often expend too much energy by failing to take up acting out in couple therapy. Therapists are working too hard because they fail to notice acting out by one or both partners and deal with it appropriately. Acting out should not be rewarded with doing therapy. Rather, acting out is a sign that the therapist does not have a therapeutic alliance with the couple and must use specific tools necessary to address it as soon as it arises. A therapeutic alliance means that the couple and therapist remain fully collaborative, cooperative, and on task. The task of couple therapy is to focus on the relationship, not on the therapist or partner on partner. The couple therapist must use supportive confrontation of the couple system itself (avoiding partners directly) in order to gain a therapeutic alliance. In this workshop, attendees will learn how to spot signs of acting out and practice — through demonstrations — various interventions. This workshop will help therapists work less and accomplish more with acting out couples.

Learning Objectives:

1. To be able to list at least five ways acting out appears during couple therapy
2. To be able to apply at least three interventions gaining a therapeutic alliance with insecurely attached partners
3. To be able to demonstrate the technique of confronting a couple “down the middle”