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CC19 Symposium 01 - Symposium: Introduction to 3 Models - Ellyn Bader, PhD; Donald Cole, DMin, LPC, LMFT; Carrie Cole, MED, LPC; Terry Real, LICSW
Original Program Date :
Length: 1:08:01
Description:
Each faculty member will present basic principles for their model to help the audience understand the strengths of the model: Developmental, Gottman, and Relational.
Educational Objectives:
- Developmental: Select stage-appropriate treatment plans for couples at different developmental stages.
- Gottman: Describe the value of assessment and the basic structure of Sound Relationship House Theory.
- Relational: Describe the art of joining through the truth- confrontation so loving that our clients trust us more because of it.
*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*
Outline:
Introduction to the Couples Conference 2019
- Conference hosted by the Milton H. Erickson Foundation in Manhattan Beach, CA.
- Attendees welcomed and encouraged to participate fully.
- Speaker shares the poem The Six Blind Men and the Elephant to illustrate multiple perspectives in therapy.
- A second poem, Ode to Couples Therapists, introduces five major models: Gottman, EFT, Bader, Pearson, and Real.
Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy (RLT)
- Focuses on therapist self-disclosure and rejecting neutrality.
- Addresses power imbalances by siding with the underpowered partner.
- Confronts both shame and grandiosity in relationships.
- Described as a post-patriarchal approach that challenges traditional gender roles and legacy patterns.
Don and Carrie Cole on the Gottman Method
- Share their path to working with the Gottman Institute.
- Emphasize data-driven research: interviews, physiological responses, self-reports.
- Introduce the Sound Relationship House model: includes friendship, conflict management, shared meaning, trust, and commitment.
- Focus on deep emotional conversations and setting clear goals in therapy.
Ellen Bader’s Developmental Model
- Aimed at lasting change through intrapsychic and systemic growth.
- Addresses emotional intensity, narcissism, and developmental gaps in couples.
- Therapists must be strong leaders and create a structured, positive start to therapy.
- Emphasizes experiential techniques and using the therapist’s presence in sessions.
Common Challenges in Couples Therapy
- Stuck points include poor communication, emotional triggers, lack of skills, and cultural dynamics.
- Developmental model offers a roadmap for helping couples grow and define a shared vision.
- Therapists are encouraged to create “alive” moments that foster change and connection.
Q&A Session
- Topics include therapist bias, empowerment, and working with non-monogamous couples.
- Clarifies the difference between personal vs. relational empowerment.
- Participants ask about therapist gender, use of individual sessions, and Gottman’s research on perpetual vs. solvable problems.
Conclusion
- Ends with humor (e.g., benefits of men doing housework).
- Participants encouraged to stay engaged and attend additional workshops.
Ellyn Bader, PhD
Ellyn Bader, PhD, is a founder and director of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. As a clinical psychologist, workshop leader, author, and speaker, she is dedicated to helping couples create extraordinary relationships. Over the past 30 years she has trained therapists in couples therapy throughout the United States as well as Europe, Asia, South America, and Australia. She served as a Clinical Faculty in Stanford University School of Medicine for 8 years.
Terry Real, LICSW
Terry Real, LICSW, is a nationally recognized family therapist, author, and teacher. He is particularly known for his groundbreaking work on men and male psychology as well as his work on gender and couples; he has been in private practice for over twenty-five years. Terry has appeared often as the relationship expert for Good Morning America and ABC News. His work has been featured in numerous academic articles as well as media venues such as Oprah, 20/20, The Today Show, CNN, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today and many others.
Carrie Cole, M.Ed, LPC
Carrie Cole, M.Ed., LPC is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Texas and an approved LPC Supervisor. She received her Master’s degree in Educational Psychology with a specialization in Counseling Psychology from the University of Texas at Austin in 1994. She has over 15 years of experience working with individuals and couples on a wide range of issues including marital therapy, affair recovery, depression, anxiety, sexual abuse, eating disorders, parenting, trauma recovery, divorce recovery, and personality disorders. Carrie has also provided seminars on relationships, parenting and divorce recovery.
Ms. Cole is the Director of Research for the Gottman Institute. As a Certified Gottman Method Couples’ Therapist and a master trainer in Gottman Method Therapy, she teaches all levels of the Gottman Method Certification Program.
Donald Cole, DMIN, LPC, LMFT
Don Cole, D.Min, LPC, LMFT is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Licensed Marriage & Family Counselor in the state of Texas and an approved LPC & LMFT Supervi- sor. He received his doctorate in ministry with a specializa- tion in psychotherapy from Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in 1993. He has 25 years of experience working with individuals and couples in various capacities includ- ing marital therapy, affair recovery, depression, anxiety, trauma recovery, parenting, and personality disorders.
Dr. Cole is the Clinical Director for the Gottman Institute. As a Certified Gottman Method Couples’ Therapist and a member of the Gottman Relationship Institute and a mas- ter trainer in Gottman Method Therapy, he teaches all levels of the Gottman Method Certification Program. He is also a Clinical Member of the American Association of Marital and Family Therapists.
Dr. Cole is an experienced public speaker and seminar leader and has held workshops on a variety of topics. He is also an ordained Lutheran Pastor through the ELCA.
