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CC17 Topical Panel 01 - Lies and Infidelity - Alex Katehakis, MA, MFT; Marty Klein, PhD; and Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT
Original Program Date :
Length: 56:45


Description:

Couples problems may be rooted in deception—infidelity is based in deception. Clinicians need to know how to assess and treat it.

Educational Objectives:

  1. Describe three patterns of Couples deceptions.
  2. List three methods to address deception.
  3. Describe three patterns of infidelity.
  4. List three treatment options for infidelity

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Keynote Introduction and Acknowledgments

  • Speaker expresses gratitude to colleagues and highlights the collaborative, energetic nature of the event.

  • Emphasizes the importance of new ideas and cross-disciplinary thinking.

Learning from Other Fields

  • Encourages learning from fields like astronomy, animal behavior, art, science, law, and magic.

  • Notes overlaps between therapists, spies, magicians, and hypnotists.

  • Supports moving from single-theory to poly-theoretical models (e.g., integrating neurobiology).

Understanding Deception in Psychotherapy

  • Deception is common: people lie ~10 times daily.

  • Lying varies by personality and relationship type (e.g., introvert vs. extrovert, married vs. unmarried).

  • Therapists must stay curious and investigative to uncover lies in therapy.

Types and Signs of Deception

  • Includes lying, withholding, deflecting, and gaslighting.

  • Truth detection involves comparing current behavior to an individual’s typical baseline.

  • Important to recognize aggressive or evasive responses.

Non-Verbal Cues and Behavior

  • Look for clusters of unusual actions, behavioral pauses, jerky or frozen movement.

  • Micro expressions and facial shifts are key deception indicators.

  • Movement of "anchor points" (e.g., hands, feet) can signal stress.

Arousal and Emotional Regulation

  • High arousal affects behavior, facial expression, and verbal coherence.

  • Signs include pupil dilation, changes in skin tone, and micro-shifts in facial muscles.

  • The face is the primary channel for emotional signals.

Establishing Baselines

  • Observe normal behavior patterns to detect deviations during stress or deception.

  • Watch for over-control or under-control of facial expressions and affect.

  • Deception shows up in clusters of subtle behavior changes.

Narrative Coherence

  • Inconsistent stories, too much or too little detail, and contradictions may reveal deception.

  • Pay attention to how smoothly a person narrates under pressure.

Use of Presumptive Techniques and Hyperbole

  • Strong questions and exaggerated statements can provoke revealing responses.

  • Helps test hypotheses and observe emotional or behavioral shifts.

Video Analysis and Frame Review

  • Video recording helps spot micro expressions and non-verbal cues frame by frame.

  • Used for training, feedback, and identifying deceptive patterns.

  • Reinforces the importance of precise observation and understanding affect regulation.

Final Thoughts

  • Therapists must be clear and grounded before acting on assumptions.

  • Studying behavior under pressure is key to detecting deception.

  • Video analysis and careful observation are powerful tools to improve therapeutic accuracy.

Alexandra Katehakis, MA, MFT

Alex Katehakis is a licensed Marriage, Family Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist in Los Angeles. She has extensive experience in working with a full spectrum of sexuality from sexual addiction to sex therapy, and problems of sexual desire and sexual dysfunction for individuals and couples. Alex has successfully facilitated the recovery of many sexually addicted individuals and assisted couples in revitalizing their sex lives.

Marty Klein, PhD

Dr. Marty Klein has been a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist for 35 years. He has focused his entire career toward a single set of goals: telling the truth about sexuality, helping people feel sexually adequate & powerful, and supporting the healthy sexual expression and exploration of women and men.

Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT®). He has a clinical practice in Calabasas, CA, where he has specialized for the last 15 years in working with couples and individuals who wish to be in relationships. He and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, developed the PACT Institute for the purpose of training other psychotherapists to use this method in their clinical practice.


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