Description:

This two-hour workshop deals solely with the matter of projective identification (PI) as experienced in couple therapy. PI is perhaps one of the least talked about and most problematic issue in all modalities of psychotherapy. PI is also one of the most effective tools therapists can use to discover implicit information about the couple and accelerate the therapy forward. Attendees will learn how to become aware of this nonconscious process of communication and defense employed by all couples at some point. Through demonstration and video presentation, attendees will also learn what to do about PI – which strategic interventions will work and how to evaluate their effectiveness.

Educational Objectives:

1. Describe why you’ve chosen which partner to be more likely to be using projective identification at any given time.
2. Differentiate and describe the difference between projective identification and other forms of countertransference. 
3. Describe raw thought, fantasies, urges, and feelings as a means for constructing an effective intervention.  
4. Demonstrate understanding of crossing techniques for rooting out implicitly communicated material.  

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Introduction to Projective Identification

• Projective identification involves unconsciously forcing aspects of the self into another, rooted in Melanie Klein’s work.

• It’s especially relevant in couple therapy and personality disorders, where one partner manipulates or offloads emotional states onto the other.

• Understanding this mechanism helps therapists decode implicit power dynamics and emotional projections.

How It Functions in Therapy

• Projective identification can make partners feel threatened, replaceable, or emotionally hijacked.

• It’s often nonverbal, using implicit behavior to provoke specific reactions.

• Therapists must track how these patterns maintain dysfunctional dynamics.

Nonverbal Communication and Visual Fields

• People communicate intent and emotional state through movement, posture, and eye behavior.

• Tatkin explains how the dorsal and ventral visual streams process spatial orientation and facial recognition.

• Subtle cues reveal proximity-seeking or avoidance, crucial in regulating connection and threat responses.

Live Demonstration: Proximity and Arousal

• A demonstration shows how nonverbal cues signal approach or withdrawal in real time.

• Therapists must observe facial expressions, micro-movements, and body shifts to decode relationship dynamics.

• Tracking these shifts helps with regulating arousal and improving interaction.

Attachment and Co-Regulation

• Secure functioning relationships are built on mutual regulation, fairness, and being in each other’s care.

• Therapists foster these patterns to counter projective identification and encourage healthier relating.

• Attachment theory provides a framework for understanding and repairing emotional disconnection.

Therapeutic Inquiry and Observation

• Therapists use cross-tracking (looking at the non-speaker) and circular questions to gather unfiltered data.

• These techniques reduce defensiveness and uncover unconscious motivations.

• Therapists must repeatedly test and refine hypotheses based on what they observe, not just what is said.

Brain Structures and Behavior

• The ventral medial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC) regulates emotional behavior but can be overridden by the reward system.

• The dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (dlPFC) supports rational decision-making and impulse control.

• Understanding how these areas influence arousal and behavior aids strategic intervention.

Developmental Models and Secure Functioning

• Developmental history helps therapists understand how projective identification forms and persists.

• Secure functioning is a therapeutic goal: mutual care, fairness, and collaboration are expected.

• The therapist supports this by identifying blocks and guiding the couple toward healthier patterns.

Authenticity, Monogamy, and Social Conditioning

• Therapists observe how couples navigate social scripts around monogamy and roles.

• Authenticity and clarity in beliefs are crucial to avoid projection and role confusion.

• Therapists track nonverbal cues and arousal to assess congruence between words and internal states.

Using Stress to Reveal Patterns

• Therapists use brief stressors (e.g., sustained eye contact) to elicit true emotional responses.

• Observable changes in breath, pupil size, and tension provide insight into affective states.

• Contact maintenance under stress is a key attachment marker.

Dealing with Mood Disorders and Misinformation

• Therapists must rely on observed data rather than clients’ self-report, especially when mood disorders are present.

• Strategic questioning and observation uncover inconsistencies and relational imbalances.

• Vigilance is key: not all expressed concerns are reliable indicators of underlying dynamics.

Case Example: Anxious Husband and Attractive Wife

• A fearful partner may react to internal threats (e.g., perceived abandonment) by dissociating or becoming ill.

• The therapist avoids reinforcing fragility and instead investigates deeper relational fears and projections.

• Attraction, anxiety, and unspoken dynamics must be carefully assessed and addressed strategically.

Tracking Alliances and Testing Hypotheses

• Therapists watch how couples align or distance from each other during sessions.

• Strategic use of questions reveals loyalties, emotional truths, and role expectations.

• Observation trumps explanation; what couples show is more telling than what they say.

Final Recommendations

• Therapists should continuously collect data, remain skeptical of surface narratives, and intervene based on evidence.

• Projective identification is best addressed through observation, structured inquiry, and promotion of secure functioning.

• Ongoing assessment and strategic engagement are essential in high-arousal or personality-disordered couples.

Closing Remarks

• The session closes with thanks and encouragement to apply these techniques.

• Therapists are reminded of the complexity of couple dynamics and the need for consistent, attuned intervention.