Description:

We live in the most polarized era since the 1850s. The presenter will describe the connection between escalating couple conflict and escalating political polarization. He will propose ways that therapists can work with politically divided couples, and he will describe his work since 2016 on “red/blue” polarization in the U.S. via the national nonprofit Braver Angels. He will argue that couples therapists have much to offer a nation in trouble.

Educational Objectives:

1. Identify the major elements of political polarization.
2. Describe key strategies for helping couples who are divided by politics.
3. Discuss ways to apply therapy and other professional strategies to healing the political divide in the country.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Introduction to Political Polarization in Couples

• Topic: How national political divides affect romantic relationships.

• Speaker Bill Doherty shares insights from his nonprofit, Braver Angels, which applies couples therapy principles to national depolarization.

• Focus: assessment, impact, treatment strategies for politically divided couples.

Historic and Emotional Nature of Polarization

• Current U.S. polarization mirrors Civil War-era levels.

• Finkel’s model: polarization involves othering, aversion, and moralizing—seeing political opponents as alien or immoral.

• Politics now influences all areas of life: family, work, and community.

Effect on Couple Dynamics

• 30% of U.S. couples are politically mixed; 10% have strong disagreements.

• Political identity often outweighs religious identity.

• Inter-party marriages cause discomfort for 40–45% of Americans.

• “Blues” (liberals) often have a harder time with “reds” (Trump supporters).

Assessment and Therapy for Polarized Couples

• Key questions: Are differences recent or long-standing? How central are they?

• Therapy focuses on finding shared values, boundaries, and respectful differentiation.

• In some cases, couples may need to agree not to discuss politics at all.

Braver Angels: Bridging the Divide

• A nonprofit co-founded by Doherty to reduce polarization.

• Offers red-blue balanced workshops for constructive dialogue.

• Focuses on listening, self-awareness, and values-based communication.

Therapeutic Tools in Political Dialogue

• Workshops use couples therapy methods:

  • Creating safe containers for conversation

  • Encouraging self-reflection over blame

  • Identifying common ground

• Techniques help avoid contempt, stereotyping, and escalation.

Therapist Challenges and Self-Regulation

• Therapists must manage personal political triggers.

• Effective work requires empathy for both sides.

• Boundaries are crucial in both therapy and personal relationships.

Social Justice and Collective Trauma

• Events like 9/11 and January 6th shape the emotional climate and deepen divides.

• Political healing requires restoring social trust and recognizing shared realities.

Conclusion and Therapist Role

• Call to action: therapists can be leaders in depolarization.

• Use therapy tools to promote empathy, understanding, and communication.

• Get involved with efforts like Braver Angels to bring these skills to communities