Since 1988, professionals worldwide have used and taught the Developmental Model. Feedback from thousands of therapists and clients tells us what matters most to clients and what parts of the Developmental Model have led to the greatest breakthroughs in therapeutic skill.

This keynote will emphasize 1) core principles of Developmental thinking that resonate with clients and 2) targeted skill sets that enable therapists to eliminate painful stuck patterns with couples. You’ll come away knowing how to move your couples forward to create enduring change.

Learning Objectives:

1. Describe 5 Principles of Developmental Thinking

2. Utilize 3 Interventions to Disrupt Symbiosis

3. Enable Couples to Understand What’s Wrong and Embrace Growth

Outline:

Developmental Model: Overview & Purpose

• Goal: Guide couples toward psychological growth and reaching their full potential.

• Addresses common therapy challenges:

  • Emotional dysregulation.

  • Therapist self-blame.

  • Client resistance or passivity.

• Emphasizes client developmental potential and wholeness.

Core Principles of the Developmental Model

1. Strong therapist leadership is essential.

2. Relationships evolve through predictable developmental stages.

3. Individual change drives relationship change.

4. Differentiation (clarifying individual self) is critical for lasting partnership.

5. Lasting change comes from deep individual awareness and emotional growth.

Strong Leadership in Therapy

• Therapists actively highlight client strengths to encourage progress.

• Therapist provides clear direction, collaboration, and control.

• Early independent actions from partners help reduce defensive behaviors.

• Highlighting positive changes early motivates continued growth.

Predictable Stages of Relationship Evolution

• Relationships progress through identifiable stages.

• Common relationship struggles:

  • Anger, hostility, and competition.

  • Enmeshment or avoidance of intimacy.

• Assessing developmental stages clarifies stuck points and unresolved issues.

• Individual goals motivate relationship advancement, even if the partner resists.

Differentiation & Emotional Risk

• Differentiation: clearly defining oneself and expressing needs without blame.

• Requires emotional risk-taking and managing self-protection.

• Therapists help clients take emotional risks and develop deeper self-awareness.

• Ongoing differentiation maintains intimacy, passion, and relational growth.

Video Demonstration & Therapy Interaction

• Therapy demonstration shows a focus on differentiation and individual growth.

• Highlights importance of acknowledging personal desires clearly.

• Experiential moments in therapy enable clients to experience emotional breakthroughs.

Insight & Building Emotional Capacity

• Insight alone isn't sufficient; clients must actively experience growth.

• Therapists support partners' developmental progress toward intimacy.

• Therapists’ own growth is essential to effectively lead clients.

Conclusion & Final Thoughts

• Uses inspirational imagery symbolizing persistence and resilience.

• Therapists encouraged to convey determination, hope, and resilience to clients.

• Therapy work is meaningful and rewarding, significantly impacting clients' lives.